It's hard I know Christine, but sometimes it's necessary. You're a good woman with a kind heart, in the end he has to know that whatever you do isn't out of a desire to hurt him. If he doesn't know that then he doesn't know you.
true indeed, with the passage of time, it is possible to hold it down platonically as friends. but it can still be a sticky situation, as one never knows exactly what is going on in the other person's head. i don't know how it is for the ladies but for most men after a sexual exchange has occurred and it was a successful one, he normally feels he can return to such a level at a time of his choosing, since he proved he was/is a qualified lover. i'm not saying whether this is right or wrong, but just making a point. and this type of mentality can often make platonic relationships with people who you have sexual history with a little awkward at times. just a little something to keep in mind. by no means am i suggesting it's a reason not to be good friends with a former lover, not in the least. but just pointing to a possible bit of complexity in said relationship. :smt002
We have some where a thread about this topic and it really appears that men have a problem with it. Women in contrary see it very much different. But my personal experience is that nearly all of my former lovers are good friends nowadays. Both just must have truely understood and accepted the situation.
ehh... i would be careful with the "problem with it" comment. it really just takes some clear communication and consistent action for most men to understand and act accordingly. but i definitely think the majority of men and women view this scenario differently.
Nice to hear that.. then it would be helpful, if you post your perspective in there,too- to keep the balance..most men said platonic friendship with a woman is nearly not possible
hmm... i think i'm gonna remain selective on when and where i post comments on here. not everyone is open to new perspectives. ya know? and i really have no desire to get combative over ideas. but i'm glad my 2 cents could further the discussion in this thread. :smt001
I see no reason why you would expect people to get combative with you. You haven't approached anyone in that manner, and we're all pretty reasonable folks. The more perspectives that get shared, the better and more well rounded the discussions.
Dont let people disagreeing with you stop you. That is sort of the whole point.. people with different opinions on here. You dont have to get combative.. if someone does, ignore it. Post, post post I love new perspecives even if I dont agree. I send Guido, my kne-cap guy after anyone that offends you!!!! :smt028
haaa... that's hilarious. thank ya both, FG and Espy. i have zero problems with people disagreeing with me. that's the whole point of a debate. but i see at times folk get a lil simple with it. that's something i don't put up with. i have litte tolerance for it in real life and certainly don't come online to argue. ya know?
What definitly was interesting! And to the other point, of course you can interact, wherever you want, but I know that we have a lot of discussible people here and it can be or is a challenge to talk to them..
I have been in some sticky situations with a few of my ex's relating to this particular issue. It is a very touchy situation to be involved in. Even if the split was amicable, there is a love for the other partner that will never go away. As time passes your feelings change but the residue of love is still there. We have conversations and we might visit each other every now and then but there will never be a constant and consistent friendship because of the understanding that we have shared a part of ourselves that no one will ever know about. No women will do the same thing for one man that she might do for another because every relationship has a different flavor depending on the type of people involved. Its that type of uniqueness that makes the love everlasting (Oh God I'm starting to sound sappy). I believe a person should always have a respectful and friendly connection with a former lover but it should always be under the pretense of "We separated from each other for a reason". ...Another male's perspective.
