ll I've clicked on the link and read through all the posts...after a while I started to realize that there wasn't much of a constructive discussion going on. So I decided not to post! TampaBayBBW, I read through your debate with that one girl and it seemed to me that she wasn't going to listen...in the end you've gotten a little condescending towards her (no offence, at some point there is nothing else to say, I understand that!), and I think it's great you want to stand up and speak up for us white girls, and engage in dialogue and what not. But as with anything, if people are not open to hear your argument, it is futile to even make an attempt to explain your views to them. There were a lot of good posts, critical and positive, at the beginning but towards the end it was just these one-on-one rants...sort of like : Shut up! I'm right!; No, you shut up! I'm right!....so I left it. Personally I prefer to speak up where people listen. I met so many wonderful and strong black women through partners, and friends and all I can say is that where there have/has been contempt, prejudices and misconceptions, in the end I was almost always able to make them look beyond my skin. I do find myself occasionally in awkward (almost funny) situations, where I am surrounded by black girls who bitch about white people, and then they look at me, suddenly stop, smirk and say: Well, I don't really consider you a white girl anyway! And that's the perfect situation to start a dialogue. That is when they realize, that I am indeed a white girl and that they like me, and that there are millions of white people who are just like me, and likeable, so they need to rethink and rephraze their accusations. Thats much more rewarding - to me anyway! (Please, please don't get this the wrong way, white people have equally as much to learn as black people -and more!, it's just that this thread is about white women speaking up!)
And I agree with Firewoman, a BM saying he doesn't like BW, makes the alarm bells ring! And I agree pretty much with anything else you wrote in your little essay! :lol:
8) ANYTIME ,BABY GIRL FYRE... I know you are new,have been reading your posts and we value your thinking !!. Keep posting. This will help remove the cobwebs from alot of BM on here. :!:
Sterotypes are so pathetic! Most of the time, when I enter some of these forums, it sounds more like little kids complaining and fighting amoungst themselves. Here is a forum where black men and white women are suppose to be able to "talk" to one another and then someone says something stupid like, "white women make me feel this way." And then a black woman speaks up with objections about a statement and before you know it the forum sounds like a kindergarten room--not a web site where adults are speaking to one another. Goodness--why would I want to add to that kind of crap??? I see this over and over on this site as well as others, I am kind of disappointed. I feel like I can't talk to anyone and express my personal ideas because it is just ridiculous the type of things I would be accused of. When I come here, I want to have an grown up conversation with people--any people. Men, women, black, white, and who ever else is lurking out there.
Wow, interesting read here. This is my first time on any forum that is not football related. I dont go to places like black planet or black voices because, well, Im not black. I mostly date black men and am the mother of a mixed child, so I sought a site that was ww/bm oriented. Ive been dating black men since I was 14 (Im now 33). Ive seen the stares, heard the remarks, met my share of pissed off relatives/friends and have my own retarded relatives. To be quite frank and to keep it simple, I just dont give a rats ass. I will date whom I please, when I please. Outsiders "opinions" just dont matter.
it is still really quiet among white women here, it seems most are afraid to talk openly with a brotha
I love to hear these discussions! When I seen this site I was like "Yep,I'm joining here!" I have been approached time after time with people asking me "Why I wanna be black?" I always respond "I do not want to be black, I am simply a white women this is PROUD to date black men,that's my preference the same way other people prefer brunettes,blondes or big butts, tall or short." I am often criticized for being vocal on IR issues. Black women tend to ask how I can love a black man the way she could, i.e., that I don't understand racism. Really? I get stared down in the grocery store or restaurant when I'm with a black man or am babysitting a biracial child. I am picked out of a crowd when I'm with my boyfriend when a black women would blend in. I have been denied jobs and rental applications because of what I find natural for me. I am ostrasized for "abandoning my race" and "taking black men from black women" But I JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND ?Lmao! I have often asked black women because they are the most vocal about this subject "So you don't believe in equality between races? :?: So you don't believe I am equal to you? You want times to go back before civil rights?(they usually stutter because NO THEY DON'T WANT THINGS TO GO BACK THAT WAY!) Because if you DO want equality then that means that I am an equal to you in the quest for a good or bad man".Jacqieline/size]
Well, THANX alot .I told u I have too much to say. I will be catching up on reading alot of other topics on here,so I look forward to hearing replies. . . Jacqieline
WW speaking up God knows that I have never been accused of keeping my feelings to myself. I am a WW. . I was brought up in Cambridge Massachusetts. IRs were the norm when I was growing up. I serious don't care what color the man is that I'm with... I just want a man who treats me well, who respects me and who worships me for the Goddess that I am..lol =) In my opinion all women are goddess My first marriage was to a French Canadian with darker skin. My second relationship was to an Cherokee Indian (he passes away I'm sorry to say) and I have had to move on. I've dated extremely white men (Irish / Scottish) but am now in a relationship with a man from Trinidad. I love him for who he is... not the color of his skin,,,, if he was Asian I would love him because he is a kind soul who loves me and my kids. I am quite desirable to BM and WM I'm choosing to be with a BM right now because he treats me the best and he makes my heart sing.
Silly People Maybe this is my polyanna coming through but when I go out with my handsome, sexy loving BM I could give a rats ass what anyone has to say about it. I love him... he loves me... my kids love him and he loves them. We walk around like a family....he carries my white/cherokee daughter and kisses her like she is his. He calls her butterfly (he did this not knowing that the shamen at her native naming ceremony named her Kamama which is butterfly in Cherokee.) He doesn't care either. One night he and I were strolling downtown Plymouth, holding hands and sneaking an occationaly kiss. Nothing overly demonsrative but loving. One or two white couples did the double take and eyebrow lift...to which my man responded with a smirk and laugh and a "Oh my god... it is a BM and a beautiful WW... someone call the news... get a camera.. call a cop!!!" I laughed, he laughed and the offending couple looked marked chagrinned and moved on. Debbie
I read through some posts on blackvoices.com and some of the other websites and as angry as it made me, there was a larger part of me that was saddened by the vicious racism and blatant verbal diarrhea. The reason that I have stopped going to those sites is because no matter how much I argue with them, no matter how much I quote statistics and facts, and no matter how intelligent my rebuttal is the fact remains that they want to hate me. They want to be angry because I "stole" a BM from them. Lest they forget that they didn't want to date him because he wasn't "black enough" or he wasn't "thug" enough. They are angry with themselves because the mirror is showing them their true face. Taking inventory of oneself and attitude is never easy and can cause anger and resentment...I get that. I also get that I will still be crucified for dating/marrying a BM. Why beat your head against a brick wall. When they are willing to start intelligent discourse and refrain from using their slurs, malicious lies, and hateful innuendoes, then I will be more than happy to talk with them. Until then - what's the point? I won't waste my breath arguing when I can spend time happy, healthy, and living the way I feel is best for me.
And there you are, m8.. Some of those folks only gripe for want of something better to do.. And MOST (not all) of the ones that do the bellyachin' are doin' it to fan the flames and keep the rancour and bitterness goin' just so they can get their rocks off... And I *hate* it when they try to spread that kind of sickness *here*.... 'Nuff Siad!!!! OpinionsCartoonStudios@Yahoo.Co.UK
They're pissed off that WM aren't stepping to them fast enough...they don't give a shit about BM. If you notice...those same women NEVER say anything bad about WM.
