i heard about this on the al sharpton radio show.

http://www.churchleaders.com/pastor...ile-congregation-waits-for-him-to-preach.html

a black pastor commits suicide. according to the article he sufferred depression.

why should you get help and why blacks, overall, dont.

my beliefs blacks dont for the following reasons:

1. the pride , ego thing. especially bm.

2. church. when i was growing up and not too long ago they would talk down on it and say take it to jesus.

3. blacks overall are afraid of doctors due to the tuskegee incident back in the day.

what are your thoughts?

 

I think all your reasons are part of the basis of black opposition to therapy, but I still think people should do it. I have always thought a trained professional was better than "taking it to Jesus", or an untrained clergyman.

 

yep and if you take it to him hes too busy to hear you. the pastor has a lot of pressure. he has to keep the doors open. he has to hear peoples personal problems. he has to mend family issues and visit the sick and G-d forbid he has a regular fulltime job. he also has to be careful of getting sued for giving advice.

 

This.

 

yeah but i think people, blacks in particular, saw it as weakness and lack of faith. i kind of believe the pastors back then didnot know what to do.

 

Goodlove - that's a good point. I wonder if my atheism helped me be more open to the idea.

 

yep you have to remember that the church was therapy for blacks for a long time especially during slavery and the civil rights movement. its still the cornerstone but it really needs to evolve to keep up with the personal needs. pastord should man up and say "go seek therapy"

look at that article....the pastors need help. ill post another article about pasors committing siicide.

 

*Reading now*

And you're right. Helping a few hundred people constantly has to be draining. I wonder if the unwillingness to seek therapy is based in a religious opposition to science?

 

i dont want people to think in totally shitting on the church but......

 

I'm an atheist, but I can see the benefit it has for people who need it. And pastors are still only human. They need help just like everyone else. My therapist told me that he saw a therapist too, lol.

Interesting quote from the article, reminding me of the fact that even pastors need help:

"It’s hard to be honest. It’s difficult for some preachers to be honest. Every pastor needs a pastor to kind of lead and guide them. But it’s hard for us to really find that relationship because often pastors are trying to compete with or cremate you. And so it’s difficult to find camaraderie,” Smith added."

 

i feel ya. hell a doctor wouldnt operate on himself.

lol.

i think people will need that support some time or another

 

It is one thing to want therapy and another thing to afford it...

 

Quite true. Not even all employer-sponsored health plans cover it. :-(

 

omg you guys are hitting on some real stuff there

 

I worry that with increased stress due to job losses, people might be succumbing to stress-related problems more frequently in the future.

 

yeah. i agree. its a shame that they will fall thru the cracks though.

 

It really is. :-(

 

I find it so sad. Depression is a very serious problem and needs professional help. I've had several black male friends say black men don't go to therapy. I wondered why. Why not use whatever tools are out there to help you deal with a difficult situation?

 

I think ego plays a huge part for some people and then there's people like me who don't trust easily and actually prefer to handle things alone. I definitely recognize the possible benefit of therapy but I've never had a therapist tell me something I didn't already know about myself. With quiet, peace and time, I'm able to work out my stresses on my own. When I need to talk or vent, I really only trust and confide in my fiancée. Nine times out of ten though, if I'm stressing I just want to be left alone because I'm mentally working it all out. That's when my introverted-self really comes out lol.

I'm not at all bashing counseling, I think it can be incredibly helpful for some people. I've done it a couple times and just never seen the benefit for me personally.

 

Sometimes it's not about having someone tell you things about yourself that you don't already know. It's giving you tools and strategies to deal with something outside of yourself. That's what's difficult in finding in a therapist, for me personally. The last time I went to one, she was more like a kindly grandmother listening to me vent. Not helpful. Give me new ways to deal with what's troubling me because my ways aren't working. But I know that counseling is valuable, especially relationship counseling, if you find the right counselor.