https://youtu.be/NfChH-8jtIs Should you check a person's credit score and history before getting serious or married? Would you stay with someone with bad credit
Yup I bring it up in every relationship I get into. It's not a deal breaker but it lets a person know what I need in a relationship
If the explanation for their bad credit makes sense, then no. I'll qualify that by saying, a very good friend of mine years ago, passed out behind the wheel and damaged someone's property. It was discovered that he suffered from diabetes that had not been diagnosed. However, the owner of the property he damaged sued him and won and he was forced to pay them $100K. He didn't have that kind of money and was forced to file for bankruptcy. THAT is understandable. Having bad credit because he doesn't pay his bills on time or at all, that's a HUGE red flag for me and a HUGE deal breaker. A person NEEDS to be responsible with their money and I won't get involved with someone who could "bring me down" with them by association. I work hard for my credit score.
I wouldn't say, "hey, let's check your credit before we move forward"haha. It would naturally present itself in the "getting to know" stage (my getting to know stage). Most likely if their credit is fucked up Bc of being irresponsible, we wouldn't be a good match anyway.
It's not relevant unless we start talking about living together. At that point her goal should be to get into the 700 club if she is not there yet. As long as she is trying and gradually improving we are good, but that applies to everything positive. Having good credit is about self control and accountability, which are good qualities in a potential life partner. I don't like the idea of having to watch a partners moves, so if her credit is bad and she is not actively developing better habits then it's a no go.
Agreed! In dating that's not something I'll share/discuss as it's private. Down the line with the talk of living together and more... Definitely a topic to be discussed. Also... Like you, I can't get with having to watch my s/o's money managing habits.
No I'm not going to check someone's credit. I think you get a feel for if you are compatible in the ways you manage money over time. I really think that can be much more important than the number on the credit score. I'm only going to be concerned about credit scores if I'm at a point in a relationship where we are doing things where credit scores impact things. Would I stay or be with someone who had a bad credit score? I've had great credit scores, bad credit scores, and build them back up. I don't think it's anyone's business as to the how's and why's about any of that unless we are in a position of sharing accounts, investments, etc. Nor is it my business as to theirs. My credit score never impacted the type of girlfriend or wife I have been.
Good points. While it's no guarantee... In dating exclusivel,y one would eventually get an idea of how the other person handles their finances.
Yeah it's really a situation where you have to watch a person's behavior. A friend and I were talking about this and we talked about is their a correlation to a bad credit score/budgeting and commitments to a relationship.
There are a lot of very successful (in terms of finances) people who ended up with bad credit when the economy crashed. As with most things, I think you have to take a look at if it's a situational thing or a chronic thing. People have falls in life, sometimes it's beyond their control. I think there is a great deal to be said for those who have had major things happen in life and are able to come out of it in good (or even better) shape. I'd much rather be with a man who can put things back together when something happens (in whatever regard) than someone who has always had things good and doesn't know how to deal with adversity. I know some who consistently over-spend and yet they have great credit because their family was always bailing them out. People are getting so picky about every little thing, the lists are getting so long, they aren't going to end up with anyone. Think about it, if most really happy couples would go with all these lists people have now, how many of them would even be together? LOL Also, I like to play devils advocate a bit. I hear someone saying something like - A man needs to have excellent credit. Ok, he could have great credit but have a lot of debt...is that ok? What if the debt or bad credit is because he has huge medical bills because he has a child with chronic illness? (or some other situation that people don't typically think about when they are being flip about all the things they want in a mate) Also, how good of credit do they need to have?
Checking a person's credit score is invasive and something I've never done. However, I have to disagree that a bad credit score can be correlated to commitment issues. I think how a person handles money is EXTREMELY important for any kind of LTR. I don't think how a person handles money is indicative of how committed they'd be to a relationship, but it is indicative of how mature they are and how much they'll make YOUR life a living hell if you live with them and they can't pay their freaking bills on time. If you marry that type of person, your score will be affected. I think most people with bad credit (there are exceptions) tend to be less mature, prone to instant gratification, and don't take their adult responsibilities seriously.
Those are excellent points we talked about those issues to (at least to a point). That'd when you start looking at the credit report. Like you said its situational. When you see people defaulting a lot then that can raise some signals. What we kind of got into was if they are keeping their obligations to the debt ....are they willing to keep their commitments in the relationship
hmm interesting. I've known some people who were horrible with money but very good as a partner in a relationship. They simply were not taught well. To be real, most kids are not really taught how to handle money (or credit). There was something recently about how most college grads (even those with graduate degrees) have not been taught these things. I can understand what you guys were talking about and have had those thoughts myself. But I've been on the other side too where I've had some overwhelming situations happen. I actually am probably a bit more critical since I have had horrendous things happen (more than once) and been able to build things back up several times. I sortof have the attitude - if I can do it, you can too. I take a look at it though. But yah admittedly, I might get judgy if someone has bad credit because they were out there recklessly spending buying a bunch of fluff vs they ended up with bad credit because they had outrageous medical debt. In terms of their ability to commit though (or stay committed to a relationship) based on how they are with credit....IDK. I tend to gravitate towards men who are ultra responsible. My friends and I talk about things more like length of time in their career, long term accomplishments, length of time of friendships, length of time in past relationships, etc when it comes to taking a look at how they may be in terms of ability to commit and stay committed.
I'm sure a lot of people (maybe moreso women) would not like this idea AT ALL. Especially the word "strict" LOL. I like the idea. People seem to really avoid parameters and boundaries. I'd much rather know straight up what I'm dealing with though. I would think that's something that will be reassessed from time to time too? I think it's important to continue the conversation about it and make adjustments as needed.
Absolutely. My profession and trade is financial services so I see how badly poor financial habits mess up your life. It's usually unnecessary spending coupled with no forward thinking. A lot of it is single women who are bored and spend spend spend on trying to push back the boredom and who usually have men around to supplement some of their entertainment needs. For men its usually guys who spend way too much money on impressing women high price tag items. Later on its people who didn't plan appropriately for kids or who spend unnecessarily on their kids trying to fill voids from their childhood.
Excellent points here. I do feel a credit report score is definitely one of those private things a person should keep close to them. I'm open (and have discussed), but only when the relationship has progressed to a point in which your discussing big moves like living together and/or marrying. Before this point... My credit report, taxes, and so on are for my eyes only. Two people definitely should be able to get an idea of the other's habits regarding finances and so on. I think it's really part of getting to know a person over time.
