Nice Church Girls?

Ah, Sundays:
Ran into a guy friend of mine; we get along just fine, but inevitably he hurled a certain question in my direction. I think I gave him some perfunctory response which was not my answer below, but maybe it should have been. Forgive me..

Churchgoing Friend to Hypestyle:“So why don’t you want to meet a nice church girl?”

Hell no! why would I want to do that? It’s because the way my luck works!
I don’t feel like going to church from 10 in the morning to 2 in the afternoon, then expected to come back from 6 pm to 8 for a second dose, and maybe the third tithe offering! I’ve got football to watch! Even if it’s a BYE week!

And naturally, because I’m a human magnet for everything that I don’t want, The universe never let’s me get what I want..

I can’t be bothered with any Aunt Esthers in training, I’d have to be ‘Woody’ and start drinking to deal with it (google or wiki Sanford & Son); to women like this, everything, this that & the other is secular, is worldly; she doesn’t want to eat at a Chinese restaurant, not that the food isn’t good (No MSG/cat jokes, please), but they have some kind of Buddha statue up in there, and that’s blatant paganism, and you know, since it’s Chinese, it might turn into a giant robot, so you might want to call homeland security while you’re at it—

a kid-free, riches-free guy like me just wants a jump-off buddy, who herself is just looking for a jump-off buddy, that’s all! I don’t think it’s really that complicated? Other people get that when that’s what they want.. but no, because that desire, happens to be spoken or thought of by me, because that request happens to come out of my mouth, all of the sudden the universe is like “Is that Hypestyle whining again? uh-uh, no can do, we’re fresh out, screw that, we gave it all away at the office!”

The way my luck works, either I can expect to meet the woman who expects me to be the type of guy who doesn’t have King Magazine, Playboy and/or Jessica alba tribute magazines in his possession, or the guy who’s not interested in heavy petting or the guy who’s genuinely offended at comedy movies when women lose their tops for no good reason- but I’m not offended, and I don't feel like having to lie about it.

Let's see, who's out there? what, the single mother whose baby’s daddy—or maybe there’s even more than one—is some parolee type. As the saying goes, I ain’t no punk, but I’m not looking forward to being confronted at random at a gas station “Yo, whassup kid, yo, you been kickin’ it with Marsha? You tappin’ that? You hit that? Yo who the f*** told you you could all up on my baby’s moms, son? Ni**a don’t you know I will (etc., etc.)”; and even if he’s not the violent type, inevitably when I come to visit the gal then he starts banging at the door, finally wanting to visit the kids. How many phone conversations can I expect to overhear where she all of a sudden starts cursing the other person out? “Mothafu*ka, that’s why I left your ass to begin with… Hell no, I’m not coming over your place to braid your hair; your triflin’ ass ain’t pay me for the last time I did that; no, gallon of milk and a box of skittles don’t count, mothafu*ka… What? Ni**a, fu*k you! (click)… So the way I look at it—any single mother worth seeing is naturally going to have priorities to put her children first, which means whatever her job is—if she has a job—then she’s probably working some intense hours, and probably has to pay somebody to look after the kids, which means she’s probably more than a little financially tapped, and she probably wants to be able to spend more quality time with the kids, which dating more or less cuts into by default, unless every time you go out on a date somehow it ends up involving Jeepers or Chuck E Cheese or adding (potentially several) kid’s admission and a popcorn combo (dammit) along with whatever money you’re having to shuck out for the movie tickets. So the way I see it, I’m doing single mothers a favor by not bothering them, I’m actually giving them the space they need to bond further with their child without the outside interference from a man who may not even be there in the long run. (see, what a hero I am :yes: )

Or, maybe, you know, there’s the devout woman where the only missionary position they’re interested in is one where they stay in Haiti or Israel or Nicaragua, where they’re teaching foreign kids English most of the day, or some other drudgery that I can't pretend to be courageous enough to be bothered with, and hoping that some rogue militiamen or a suicide bomber don’t stop by to visit, “say, we’re really sick of all that Michael Bolton & John Tesh music you keep playing over the loudspeakers; have a grenade!”

Let’s see, who else would I probably end up meeting? Oh, lastly there’s the woman who willingly was a freak on wheels for at least a several year stretch, but then maybe they slipped in the bathtub, knocked their head and decided it was a religious experience and so now they’ve declared their “second virginity” (groan) and they intend to live a life of celibacy until that distant day when she marries the guy who looks forward to waiting as much as she does, and who will gladly save 4 months worth of salary for an engagement ring, and who knows how many month’s salary for a down-payment on a house; if the prospect of being expected to cover a house note, insurances and other utility bills doesn’t take your hard-on away, I don’t know what will..

Feel free to heap your perfectly justified scorn on me at will... :blink:

 

hell yeah, kid

When the Eagles aren't playing, I know 31 (nfl still has 32 teams right? ) other squads that might be doin somethin..

and if NO ONE is playing, guess what?

I got my NFL channel bumpin throughout my apartment, with games that happened 10, 20 years ago, on the TV right now, even when there is no football season

:wink:

 

Well, as a newly single mom, it's nice to get an idea of what I'll be running into out there in the big bad world of dating...

I'm just playin' with you Hypestyle, since you openly asked people to scorn you. HA HA.

I respect your decision. It's a free country and everyone has their deal makers and deal breakers. When I met my husband, he had a child. Being the youngest in my family, I was never really around kids all that much, so I was a bit apprehensive. But, I stuck it out, only to deal with the psycho mother of said child, who threatened bodily harm on me on more than one occasion and who called me white trash (insert your own adjective here) on a regular basis to me, to my husband, to his family, whomever would listen to her.

Looking back, I wonder why I stayed with him through that. No one deserves to be treated that way. But, I guess everything happens for a reason, because while our marriage didn't work out, I got an amazing kid out of the deal. Oh, and I became an emotionally stronger person because of it.

 

baby momma drama ain't no joke



I commend you for dealing with adversity like that. I wouldn't expect complete sunshine while in an interracial relationship (or any relationship for that matter), as far as name calling is concerned. Having a partner strong enough to fight through that is a plus. I would hate to be with someone, who didn't have any backbone to deal with that kind of stuff. Waste of my time you know.

 

best of luck and blessings, bookworm--
if it didn't come acros in my desperate cry for help (TM), I don't see all religious women and/or single moms as, uh, "problem types", but for whatever reason the most gratingly eccentric ones seem to hover in my orbit... and kind of like Ray Romano's Mom on Everybody Loves Raymond, they're kind of cheerfully oblivious to their own eccentricities.. :wink:

officerJ- i'll have to use that NFL channel more as an excuse..

 

Thanks!

For what it's worth, once I realized my marriage was failing, I spent alot of time soul-searching. I wanted to know, before I got back out there, why I seemed to be such a jerk magnet. LOL! I've come to the conclusion that it was because I had fairly low self-esteem and I was too laid-back. Guys I dated would do things, that in and of itself wouldn't be all that bad, but I never said anything. I just let it roll off my back, so to speak. And those things piled up to the point where the guys weren't respecting me, weren't listening to anything I had to say, and pretty much just walked all over me.

So, my point is, that maybe you're subconsciously attracting those types of women to you, and maybe you need to do your own soul-searching to see where you could make some changes. Maybe you don't see the red flags that people put up early on in a relationship or maybe you brush them off thinking they aren't that bad. I don't know.

Just my two cents.

And yeah, I knew you didn't think all of those types of women were bad. :wink:

 

Dig the move, pimpin'

When ya nice church gurl (the one with the blonde hair, sexy long legs, you know)comes to get you for church, flip the script...

Turn on the NFL channel and pass it off as if it's a live game, that they haven't been showing all week long (even if it's an old game with Joe Montana and Rice, she won't notice a thing).

:wink:

 

Hey Pettyofficer, it seems like your big into the football. You should join our "pick-em" league when the season starts. Cris killed us last time, but his time at the top is coming to an end.

 

I like football, but I never tried my odds at picking games..

I have it bad enough calling myself an Eagles fan, and trying to figure out which games they'll win or lose. History shows those guys usually choke and shoot themselves in the foot, when they actually have a decent chance at winning ball games. I like college ball too. I truly believe everything they say about the atmosphere of college games, being different from games on the pro level. I got a deal on NFL network along with some college sports channels..

All I got to say is that when football season starts, it's over. College games on Saturday, and Pro games on Sunday.

I also get my kicks watching minicamps and all, on NFL network. I was just watching that sh*t last month, lookin at the dudes run their 40s, bench, etc.

I like to see who's the athletic monster. Reminds me of my time in high school, when we had a linebacker putting up 425 SOPHOMOREyear. And of course, we had a quarterback who ran the 40 in 4 secs flat (yes, he would gun with the ball a lot on options). I also remember our coach setting us up for kick return practice one day. What was so odd about this was, he had one guy back to receive the kick, and told the rest of us to try to tackle him. Normally, when you pull everyone from blocking, that doesn't end well for the man running with the ball. This guy pretty much embarassed us, and cut through everyone like Reggie Bush back in college.

Needless to say, our next practice involved taking proper angles on runners.

 

What position did you play?

I never got into college football, but if I can't watch the Bears play, I'm not a happy camper.

 

i used to play split end (wideout)

that's what first got me into lifting (15 years old)..I used to be a pudgy guy

when I exercise, I visualize our old weight room and the regimen we used to run through. I remember learning a lot about proper form also. Teammates and coaches looking at you workout, will do that. ..

if playing sports did anything for me, it was teach me the benefits of keeping in shape

 

Yes! A fellow Bears fan! 8)

By the way, if Orton is the starter this season, i just might throw up lol.

 

I agree with you that the college atmosphere is somewhat more intense than on the pro level, but the NFL is just so much more competitive. Even sorry teams like the 49ers can take the best college teams to school. The Eagles should be good this year with the addition of Asante Samuel, but what they really need is extra wide receiver help, and they need to get better at linebacker i believe. I know they released Trotter, but maybe they replaced him with somebody better. I need to check up on that. I usually keep up with just about every team in the NFL. I just love the sport so much. And the NBA as well. I'm just like you, when the season starts, there's no pulling me away from that t.v. lol. I got the direct tv sunday ticket so i could watch all of the games, and now i don't think i could ever go without it. The draft is coming up in less than two weeks, and maan, i can't wait to see how my Bears do!

By the way, you gotta show me how to lift weights and get big man! 8)

 

If you're looking to add bulk, the common idea is to do less repetitions with heavy weights. Light weights and lots of repetitions equate to boosting muscle endurance. A combination of these two blends muscle strength/bulk/endurance.

For me, I tend to do 10-12 reps. If I can do 15 reps with a set weight, I make sure to add more until I come back down to the 10-12 range. I mainly use dumbbells, but I also have resistance bands and a hybrid dip/pullup/pushup/kneelift tower.

I recently bought a bench, but I haven't built it yet. The first time I put together a weight bench was when I was 15. My moms bought me it for football. I was fortunate enough to go to a school that had a weight room, so the only time I used mine was when I missed a workout or during the off-season. We would typically start our weight/run club around this time of the year. The guys who needed somewhere to lift would go there and do workouts with our headcoach. It was a GREAT way to get in shape for tryouts. Our tryout consisted of max bench, 40yd sprint, obstacle course ( this was 200 yds, but you had to jump over things, get low around cones, etc..first time I ran it, I remember nearly passing out...I didn't run the fastest time in the course, but I didn't quit when I was at my worse..coaches look for that), vertical leap, and a standing long jump.

Honestly tho. I can tell you more about what I do as far as lifting, or you can search on your own. You'll probably find something better.. I've just been doing what I currently do for such a long time. Hell, maybe I need a change

 

Um..fellow Bears fan, Rex Grossman is a tool. Orton is our only chance!

 

Blasphemy! :lol:

Rex is the only chance we have at having an offense this season. Cedric Benson is a bust, and Orton can't throw past five yards. Every team in the league can just stack the line of scrimmage against Orton and Benson. If those are our two starters...well, we might as well get ourselves ready for the number 1 pick in the 2009 draft. :lol:

 

You call yourself a Bears fan, but you've obviously never watched a game. Grossman doesn't have peripheral vision. I spend half the game yelling at the TV for him to run FORWARD not backwards. Let's see, if we want to lose 15 yards every carry, then put Grossman in...

 

...as an ex-chicagoland area (Gary, IN) resident, I have an ongoing soft spot for how the Bears do.. I just hope the management allow the coaches to prioritize quarterback quality, since historically, they've mainly concentrated on defense..

 

It would be nice if they concentrated on QBs for once. We haven't had a good QB in ages. Where's Tony Romo or Tom Brady?? :wink:

Sorry about hijacking your thread!

 

give me the church girl!! only real kind i like, that and the bookish girl