I'm not going to quote your entire post because that would be too long but to answer a few of your questions, I'm willing to bet that women hundreds of years ag very much cared what men looked like. You don't think that physical attraction on started in the 20th century, do you? Women, like men, have always been human. And women, like men, are always going to notice physical attraction. That's been universally true as long as pussies have been getting wet and dicks have been getting hard.
As for women not being interested in men until she gets to know one of them personally, I have to ask: do you know any women personally? Have you ever met one before? Have you ever talked to any? Because if you have, you'd know that women notice a man's physical appearance in the same way that men notice womens' physical appearance. I know plenty of women who can look at a man and find him physically attractive without knowing too much else about him.
It won't matter how nice he is, how much of a provider he can be, or any of those other things that may seem important. It all starts with physical attraction. Some women may hold out for a man that they consider a 10 while other women might be okay with a man they'd consider a 7 or 8 but physical attraction is always going to be a factor.