Cheaters
- Thread starter Chigirl
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christine dubois
Well-Known Member
Yes, women cheat with the same guy several times and many times it leads to divorce, because mostly a woman just wants one man and cannot bear anymore the touches of her own husband..
Men cheat with different women and mostly stay in their marriage.
The Dark King
Well-Known Member
My two cents
So if so many people cheat then what does that tell us about fidelity?
It doesn't work!!!
In any other endeavor where the success rate is 50% percent no one would consider it a worth while endeavor.
Think about it. Would you drive a car that had only a 50/50 chance of making it off the lot without breaking down? Would you fly in a plane that had a 50/50 chance of not falling out of the sky? Would you invest in a business that only made profit half the time but lost money the other?
No because these are all bad ideas!
We should really start rethinking or redefining the boundaries of a relation because apparently this shit is failing!!
So if so many people cheat then what does that tell us about fidelity?
It doesn't work!!!
In any other endeavor where the success rate is 50% percent no one would consider it a worth while endeavor.
Think about it. Would you drive a car that had only a 50/50 chance of making it off the lot without breaking down? Would you fly in a plane that had a 50/50 chance of not falling out of the sky? Would you invest in a business that only made profit half the time but lost money the other?
No because these are all bad ideas!
We should really start rethinking or redefining the boundaries of a relation because apparently this shit is failing!!
christine dubois
Well-Known Member
Excuse me, but you see it wrong. You go from one extreme to the other.. either together till you die or don´t even try..
We or I said good bye to the imagination of being with one person your whole life. How can someone, in the age around 20-25 yrs know, what will be when he/ she is 50yrs old?
Some are able to manage that dream, others can´t.
I am aware of that every love has it´s own time, I want to live it and maybe, if people see that time limit, they are alive to the importance of their relationship or marriage more.
TheChosenOne
Well-Known Member
Women are often better able to hide their cheating than men. Most relatively confident men can not conceive of their woman stepping out on them...women that cheat plan it better whereas men often do it when the urge hits them. It does take two to tango and our culture generally views cheating through the eyes of the man.
As for Tiger...I dunno that he "loves" Elin. Men like him want a woman that serves as Robin to their Batman. An accessory instead of a true partner and an equal. In that situation, you can never be truly satisfied because you will never date/marry a woman that is a true match for you but instead find women that only serve your ego.
As for Tiger...I dunno that he "loves" Elin. Men like him want a woman that serves as Robin to their Batman. An accessory instead of a true partner and an equal. In that situation, you can never be truly satisfied because you will never date/marry a woman that is a true match for you but instead find women that only serve your ego.
Loki
Well-Known Member
Not true LA, I know it is easy to become jaded and cynical given all of the gloom and doom constantly being reported about the death of marriage, and the obsession with celebrity infidelity (Tiger Woods, David Letterman, ect). But let me assure you there are many couples out there that take their vows seriously and live up to the character, integrity, and honor that they profess to their loved ones.
50% is an oft quoted misleading stat. As with anything worthwhile doing, whether a marriage is successful or not has more to do with what the two people bring to the marriage (on a personal, financial, emotional, educational, communication skill level, ect.), and who they are as people, rather than the institution of marriage itself.
There was a Time magazine article a while back that "screened" or looked for common elements (achievements, lifestyles, habits, ect) in successful marriages, and depending on the screening criterion, the divorce rate could be as low a 8% for some groups of married couples, and of the 92% that were still married, 97% rated their marriage as happy to very happy.
Stats, numbers, can be manipulated to prove almost any point of view, like Mark Twain said, "there are lies, damn lies, and statistics".
http://www.drheller.com/divorcemyths.html
http://www.divorcereform.org/nyt05.html
http://patriot.net/~crouch/adr/50percent.html
This one is a bit dated, but the data is interesting,
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,964968,00.html
FG
Well-Known Member
You can equally argue that there is a need to make people think about their actions, thats where we are failing, which acctualy makes way more sense.
A relationship will never be redefined as you want, the majority still works - in this country - remember that these stats are US numbers. The numbers are much better in most other countries, if not all unfortunately.
Its clear that its a cultural/generational issue.
Just because people are acting like idiots, you cant blame the relationship institution, that is silly - then you may as well say that as there are so many burglaries, maybe we should redefine burgraly too.
sheesh.
If you want to cheat, then you need to be upfront about it and get together with like-minded people and let the people that want a true relationship have theirs.
I wasn't being too serious about that statement, but I think you got the point.
You are spot on FG. The primary reason women say they cheat is because they're looking for an emotional connection, and the primary reason for men is sex.
That doesn't mean that all people cheat however, I really do think it's just something that you are either capable of, or you aren't. I have never cheated on anyone in my life, nor could I under any circumstances. Each time I've been presented with the opportunity, I didn't even have to think about it, it was always an immediate and automatic no thank you. I'm sure there are men who feel the same way. Some people just feel it's wrong, and some people either don't, or just don't care.
FG
Well-Known Member
I have never cheated either - its not in me, but I cant even steal my neighbors Sunday paper that has been untouched for 2 days!
(and I am not joking, I had to go put it back as it was gnawing at me so badly, funny thing is when I was younger I would probably taken it every Sunday
I think some people just have a lower "bar" if you will when it comes to integrity and responsibility towards others, but I also think that a crisis or something like that may get someone that would never dream of cheating acctually get to that point.
I also wonder if you have done it once, if it is easier once stepping over that line???
AnMDBCartoon
New Member
There's a distinct possibility that it *is* an *inevitability*...
OpinionsCartoonStudios@Yahoo.Co.UK
I have never cheated either - its not in me, but I cant even steal my neighbors Sunday paper that has been untouched for 2 days!
(and I am not joking, I had to go put it back as it was gnawing at me so badly, funny thing is when I was younger I would probably taken it every Sunday
:smt081 :smt081 :smt081
Inner Beauty
New Member
Infidelity is rampant in the mind of "dumb dick".
"Smart dicks" typically won't cheat. More than likely, they won't.
"Dumb dicks" like to sleep with multiple women at the same time (not an orgy) and tend to prefer unprotected sex w/ people they aren't familiar with.
I think you get the point.
I LOVE what you said. Do I have permission to tell dudes they have a "dumb" dick? LOL
I know a few who now have children cause their dicks were dumb and of course they don't like or regret the situation they're in....
Yup.
Although maturity plays a factor in some of these decisions, controlling your hormones and getting your 'fix' is the greater determinant in these situations.
You gotta know when to say "No", or rather, know when you need to 'protect' yourself.
Inner Beauty
New Member
Yup.
Although maturity plays a factor in some of these decisions, controlling your hormones and getting your 'fix' is the greater determinant in these situations.
You gotta know when to say "No", or rather, know when you need to 'protect' yourself.
These dudes are in their 30s (shows that maturity has nothing to do with age in this case)
I know a dude who's in his late 20s - who in his early 20s, had one kid and said that his hormones were raging at 15 out of 1-10 scale. Then blames the woman cause she said she was on birth control and wasn't going to have a child (already had one) and changed her mind once she got pregnant. Okay, so he becomes a father. Why did this happen a 2nd time? I said why didn't you strap up? Seems like after having ONE kid by someone when you weren't ready and certainly by someone who you didn't want to birth your children ever, would this happen again? Seems like you would be scared shitless and would protect yourself. Not the case! He said he trusted her....
I was seeing a dude for on and off for 3 yrs and he gave me a hard time about if I got pregnant, he'd want me to abort it if it happened. Why did he get someone pregnant after we stopped seeing each other? He said, "Now I don't have to look for someone special". I asked if she was special? He said no. I guess cause it happened by default. SMH. I resent him.
I was watching desperate housewives the past week and they had a scene where a woman was cheating on her hubby. They met a hotel room. the room maid (RM) figured out they were cheating and later on the RM cheked her on it.
The RM stated that she had a GOOD MAN and a loving man BUT I wanted excitement and adventure so I cheated on him. My hubby found out and left me and now I have no family and no boyfriend. now look at me !!!!
Have you ever done what she did and regretted you actions even if you did not get caught ?
The RM stated that she had a GOOD MAN and a loving man BUT I wanted excitement and adventure so I cheated on him. My hubby found out and left me and now I have no family and no boyfriend. now look at me !!!!
Have you ever done what she did and regretted you actions even if you did not get caught ?
I have been cheated on and I have cheated. I was married when I was cheated on and it put me in a serious depression so much at one time I did not know what year it was and did not know I wrecked and bought a new car.
I cheated on a girl while in college and regretted that because she was the loyal type but she loved to argue every day. I believe we wetre just young and immature. I saw her recently and she told me she had bad luck with men. she is a good girl but you know how that goes.
now in my forties I have been more leary about dating but will get out there . I will however be more aware about other peoples feelings and watch mine
fromrussiawithlove
New Member
Shall I be perfectly honest? When I was 14, I was going out with this boy, and I kissed another boy on holiday when I'd had too many Smirnoff Ices. I felt so bad I spent three days straight crying in my hotel room about it. So much for a family holiday.
That's the extent of my 'cheating.' I have never, ever cheated on anyone and I never would. Like FG said, I'm just not that kind of person. Having been on the receiving end of it, I can tell you it's one of the most horrible, heart-breaking things I've ever felt. I wouldn't want to do that to anyone else. I did think about it for revenge, but I couldn't bring myself to that level. I won't ruin my person and my morals and reputation for the sake of revenge.
That's the extent of my 'cheating.' I have never, ever cheated on anyone and I never would. Like FG said, I'm just not that kind of person. Having been on the receiving end of it, I can tell you it's one of the most horrible, heart-breaking things I've ever felt. I wouldn't want to do that to anyone else. I did think about it for revenge, but I couldn't bring myself to that level. I won't ruin my person and my morals and reputation for the sake of revenge.
yes it is devestating on someones soul