Random Conversation 2.0

I absolutely will not hesitate to call an ambulance next time, I will take that option away from my friend. I have also taken steps in getting documentation from the doctor behind my friends back and submitting it to a specialist, the doctor thought it would be best to go ahead and do this without my friends knowledge because it was quite intense that day.. I am still with my friend and keeping them strong, but thanks for your comments, it felt so surreal for a while there.....
chesbaygrl7 said:
If they mention it again, or you believe he/she is very serious and has the means to end their life, TAKE him/her to the hospital. Don't ask them if they want to go. This subject is a very sensitive one for me. You're doing the right thing by staying with them. Sometimes, just being confronted by a professional is enough to make them understand that suicide is not truly the route they want to go.

If you need help, I would suggest that you call a suicide hotline to get advice on how to help your friend. And, if you can, ask others to help you so you don't burn out.

Hugs to you, CB.
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Cherok33 said:
CB, I agree with all that's been stated previously. You are not qualified medically to deal with all of the underlying issues this friend has, by no means can probably understand everything, but the tremendous amount of empathy, love, support, and friendship you have for this person speaks volumes through your actions.

It is best to let the professionals help your friend.

I, along with everyone else, will pray for your continued strength, wisdom, and faith.
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Alinoa said:
The first thing you need to know is that while your concern and friendship is very valuable to this person, so don't stop that part, you are not trained to help them with what they need and will wear yourself out first before you can effectively help them.

If they are a danger to themselves, even if it's in the middle of an emotional moment and would pass or not be present if they we not so stressed out, they need to be assessed. And possibly hospitalized.
A suicide threat is just as serious as threatening to kill someone else.
They will act first and then ask questions later.


Call 911 or whatever your equivalent is. Tell the dispatch that you have someone who is NOT coherent and is threatening to commit suicide.
They will come get them and take them to the hospital and the hospital will do a BHR.
Then you can rest and know that they are safe and you don't carry all that weight that will cause you to break down.
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curleyblonde said:
The doctor provided a referral to the hospital for my friend... But that was it.

I couldn't make them go, but decided to just be there instead. Thank you for your prayers, they are much appreciated....
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I have been in that situation a while ago. Someone close to me lost her only son - her husband rolled the car, he survived, son did not. Needless to say, it was a huge deal. She refused to go to a hospital so a couple of friends pitched in and we took turns staying with her 24/7 - no sleep allowed to make sure she didnt do anything. We never left her alone.

After about 2 weeks of stopping numerous attempted suicides and refusing to eat, we finally were able to get her to agree to go to the hospital.

She is ok today, but it took a lot of work to get her to admit that to herself, that she needed and deserved to keep living.
She arrived at that conclusion herself after those 2 hell weeks. WE could not say, or do anything to convince her. All we did was be there, listen, take abuse, listen, take abuse, repeat. We allowed her to arrive to her own conclusion that she needed REAL help.

I have no real advice than just be there as far as you can, be an ear, a shoulder, take abuse (its not personal), be stern but gentle and if you cant be there, see if someone else can.

Hopefully, this person will realize that real help is needed, if not, you can always get them hospitalized by force (like they did with Britney Spears), but I would see that as a very last resort - but that depends on resources - on how many people can watch over this person.

Ok, I know that didnt help at all....

All I can say, is stay strong, dont feel bad, you cant be everything - worst case scenario - you need to get her committed. Its tough love mixed with understanding and kindness topped with realism and looking at the big picture. In this case the ends justifies the means. Truly.
 
FG said:
I have been in that situation a while ago. Someone close to me lost her only son - her husband rolled the car, he survived, son did not. Needless to say, it was a huge deal. She refused to go to a hospital so a couple of friends pitched in and we took turns staying with her 24/7 - no sleep allowed to make sure she didnt do anything. We never left her alone.

After about 2 weeks of stopping numerous attempted suicides and refusing to eat, we finally were able to get her to agree to go to the hospital.

She is ok today, but it took a lot of work to get her to admit that to herself, that she needed and deserved to keep living.
She arrived at that conclusion herself after those 2 hell weeks. WE could not say, or do anything to convince her. All we did was be there, listen, take abuse, listen, take abuse, repeat. We allowed her to arrive to her own conclusion that she needed REAL help.

I have no real advice than just be there as far as you can, be an ear, a shoulder, take abuse (its not personal), be stern but gentle and if you cant be there, see if someone else can.

Hopefully, this person will realize that real help is needed, if not, you can always get them hospitalized by force (like they did with Britney Spears), but I would see that as a very last resort - but that depends on resources - on how many people can watch over this person.

Ok, I know that didnt help at all....

All I can say, is stay strong, dont feel bad, you cant be everything - worst case scenario - you need to get her committed. Its tough love mixed with understanding and kindness topped with realism and looking at the big picture. In this case the ends justifies the means. Truly.
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Thanks FG, it is actually good to hear this from someone who has experienced something similar. I am trying to call in friends and family now to do up a roster of days, who can be with her and for how long.. I am sorry that your friend suffered through all that...
 
I wish I had had a friend to be with me during those horrible times. And drugs. I never had drugs and/or any friend which is what landed me in the hospital from a panic attack. All alone. My life is isolation and I hate it sometimes. Isolation/privacy. My kryptonite. All I wanted was for someone to hold me.
 
saintaugusta said:
I wish I had had a friend to be with me during those horrible times. And drugs. I never had drugs and/or any friend which is what landed me in the hospital from a panic attack. All alone. My life is isolation and I hate it sometimes. Isolation/privacy. My kryptonite. All I wanted was for someone to hold me.
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That is really sad to hear SA, you need atleast one good friend in your life to have your back so to speak, to be there for you and for you to return the same. Is there absolutely no one that you can trust and befriend?
 
curleyblonde said:
That is really sad to hear SA, you need atleast one good friend in your life to have your back so to speak, to be there for you and for you to return the same. Is there absolutely no one that you can trust and befriend?
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Maybe my old boyfriend but he's two hours away. And my sister. But I cant trust her to hold me unless she specifically said it was okay and she was going to do it and there was nothing I could do about it. I need someone to hold me sometimes and I can only trust two people - a man...and my Grandma. My Grandma is 90 plus and lives 2000 miles away. My parents? Forgetabout it. Don't let them touch me.
 
saintaugusta said:
Maybe my old boyfriend but he's two hours away. And my sister. But I cant trust her to hold me unless she specifically said it was okay and she was going to do it and there was nothing I could do about it. I need someone to hold me sometimes and I can only trust two people - a man...and my Grandma. My Grandma is 90 plus and lives 2000 miles away. My parents? Forgetabout it. Don't let them touch me.
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Reach out to people and they will surprise you :)
 
Cherok33 said:
sJjfR.jpg


meatloaf w sauteed mushrooms, loaded mashed potatoes, and broccoli for dinner. Mmmmz
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Can you come and cook for me? So not use to cooking for myself anymore and survive on grilled tomato and cheese and ceasear salad LOL.
 
curleyblonde said:
Very stressful week, probably life changing too. Someone close to me had a breakdown after a family issue and falling out and wanted to put an end to their life,,,,,,,,, I can not tell you how sad and concerned I am, I have never seen someone melt down like that, cry until they cant breathe and collapse from lack of energy at the end of it. I did not and have not left their side, to the point of sleeping in the same room as this person to make sure they were safe for the past two nights. I have rung in sick at work for the past two days and took this person to the doctors...... Not sure what to do after that, I am in a new job and can only call in 'sick' so many times....... I will continue to remind this person that they are loved, blessed in so many ways and that this will pass with time...... I am not qualified for this, and have made many calls whilst they are asleep to know what to say........ If it happens again in my presence I will call an ambulance however,,,,, but one thing is for sure,,,, I will not stop trying to help.....

If anyone here has seen or dealt with this please let me know what measures you took to help that person...
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I use to have panic attacks, but was not suicidal. Continue the love and support. UNfortunately, that is ALL you can do. Anyone dealing with these issues really does need to help themselves. Meds will only do so much. I will say it IS still a struggle to control it during stressful times, but it CAN be done. Just love your friend and spend as much time with this person as you feel comfortable doing, but DON"T let it impede your life.
 
curleyblonde said:
Thanks FG, it is actually good to hear this from someone who has experienced something similar. I am trying to call in friends and family now to do up a roster of days, who can be with her and for how long.. I am sorry that your friend suffered through all that...
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Hope things are going better. But I do agree with the others. Professional help is probably needed even if only as an outpatient. We lay people aren't trained. I have had two friends that tried. I also read that repeat attempts are common so they may appear better and then....try more harm.

saintaugusta said:
I wish I had had a friend to be with me during those horrible times. And drugs. I never had drugs and/or any friend which is what landed me in the hospital from a panic attack. All alone. My life is isolation and I hate it sometimes. Isolation/privacy. My kryptonite. All I wanted was for someone to hold me.
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That is a bit sad.
 
I'm 26 years old, and for some reason I was carded yesterday when purchasing some lottery tickets. And then I went to the theaters with a friend to see The Campaign and she thought I was 21 years old.

Interesting how I'm perceived to be younger than I actually am.
 
Majestic Saint said:
I'm 26 years old, and for some reason I was carded yesterday when purchasing some lottery tickets. And then I went to the theaters with a friend to see The Campaign and she thought I was 21 years old.

Interesting how I'm perceived to be younger than I actually am.
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You got that youthful look like I do. People think I look younger than my actual age, but nevertheless, they're always mistaken...especially from a young woman like me. :)
 
The difference is that...you haven't reached 20 yet. You're turning 19 soon, so you still have youth on your side. But to be fair, you definitely take care of yourself compared to a lot of people. Alcohol and cigarettes could really take its toll in your body.

LibraPrincess said:
You got that youthful look like I do. People think I look younger than my actual age, but nevertheless, they're always mistaken...especially from a young woman like me. :)
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stiletoes said:
Can you come and cook for me? So not use to cooking for myself anymore and survive on grilled tomato and cheese and ceasear salad LOL.
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haha, I would love to. I absolutely enjoy cooking, and making new things. Tonight, I'm making cider braised pork loin w sweet potatoes, apples and wild rice.
 
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Majestic Saint said:
I'm 26 years old, and for some reason I was carded yesterday when purchasing some lottery tickets. And then I went to the theaters with a friend to see The Campaign and she thought I was 21 years old.

Interesting how I'm perceived to be younger than I actually am.
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I get carded all the time too... and mistaken as being like, 16 :p Shortness and the way I dress, probably lol
 
My mother just landed a giant load of crap on me the other night when I told her I prefer black men - she told me "black men with strong Christian values aren't all that common though, are they"...

Is it just me or does that sound like a bunch of Tea Party bullshit?

The same icky feeling came over me when I told a really NICE/sweet lesbian lady that I date black men and she said, "you seem like you need to date someone intelligent." WTF?????????

Is it just me or is covert racism everywhere?
 
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