Attraction to Black Men = Perversion?

whikle said:
I'd like to know if anyone else has had a similar experience to me:

I've found that when I express to friends in a conversational/casual way that I'm attracted to black men, I'm met with jokes or shock or questions. The general assumption from society seems to be that it's a sexual perversion, that it's all about big black dicks, that it's some sort of joke. It's never just accepted as an ok/normal thing.

My good friends know about my preferences and they're totally fine with it - but there are still jokes when it comes up, or it's assumed that I'll have the hots for any black man that crosses our paths, regardless of whether I find him attractive or not.

I'm even afraid to tell a black guy that I may be dating that I prefer black men, in case he thinks it's weird or a fetish and I'm sexualising him.

Personally, my love for black men feels natural and pure and the LAST thing it feels to me is dirty or perverted. I just hate the assumption that if I like black guys, it must be about big dicks :(


Has anyone else had that kind of reception?
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Hello dear, how are you doing today?
 
whikle said:
I'd like to know if anyone else has had a similar experience to me:

I've found that when I express to friends in a conversational/casual way that I'm attracted to black men, I'm met with jokes or shock or questions. The general assumption from society seems to be that it's a sexual perversion, that it's all about big black dicks, that it's some sort of joke. It's never just accepted as an ok/normal thing.

My good friends know about my preferences and they're totally fine with it - but there are still jokes when it comes up, or it's assumed that I'll have the hots for any black man that crosses our paths, regardless of whether I find him attractive or not.

I'm even afraid to tell a black guy that I may be dating that I prefer black men, in case he thinks it's weird or a fetish and I'm sexualising him.

Personally, my love for black men feels natural and pure and the LAST thing it feels to me is dirty or perverted. I just hate the assumption that if I like black guys, it must be about big dicks :(


Has anyone else had that kind of reception?
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There should not be any feeling of perversion here. Truth is that Most Black guys (especially of African Origin, grow up learning to treat their women well. Yeah we may be endowed with big di*k but that is not all, we really know how to treat the woman well, given the resources, we see ourselves as kings and our women as queens
 
southfloridagirl said:
You need not prove anything to anyone. Do you ever see a man going around saying, "I need to get myself a fine (fill in the blank adjective) girlfriend and prove it's about more than sex"? My point is stop caring what other people think. This is about gender equality a lot more than it is about racial equality. Think about it!

And yes, let me say it again: BLACK MEN ARE HOT. There is no need for me to justify to anyone why I feel that way, and for people of either gender to sexually or romantically pursue someone that they DON'T feel this about... is completely illogical, pointless and a waste of time, in my book. Therefore your people's jokes and assumptions are basically a red flag indicator of their sexual repressions. God forbid anyone be honest that sexual attraction and personal chemistry is important to them.
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Totally agree with you absolutely !
 
Tamstrong said:
I've encountered that crap countless times over the years...the big dick comments, thinking I want every black man I see ("There's you one, Tammy!"), and tons of questions about whether or not all the sexual stereotypes are true, etc. It's like they can't wrap their small minds around the fact that my attraction to black men isn't based on a fetish or stereotypes. I guess in their minds black men aren't people; they evidently see them as walking talking giant penises.

It's irritating and sad, but over time I've gotten so used to it that I just shake my head, make various smart ass remarks, and keep it moving.

I've only had one man get weird about me dating other black men, but I didn't care what he thought any more than I care what anyone else thinks.

Loving black men has always been a natural, pure, and beautiful thing for me as well. Even though there are fools who see it as something deviant, trashy, and ugly; I refuse to let their fucked up thinking take away from what it really is for me.
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Very well Said ......from your Personal Experience & Great Maturity as a White Woman !
 
Tamstrong said:
Yeah, not everyone who comes at us with that reaction is ignorant. I was thinking more along the lines of my experiences with ignorant people (especially some of my family members) in that particular post...I guess my frustration with them was pretty obvious, huh? lol

I agree that on some level some people understand that the stereotype isn't the whole "truth", but I do think people tend to wonder just how much of the stereotype is involved. It's like it's so ingrained in society's thinking that people's minds automatically go there. If the day ever comes that it's not the first thing that comes to society's mind, I doubt we'll still be around to see it. I also wish it wasn't the initial reaction (especially the stupid jokes), but like I said, I've gotten used to it.
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Tamstrong ...... I CONCUR with you 100% .....;)
 
whikle said:
I'd like to know if anyone else has had a similar experience to me:

I've found that when I express to friends in a conversational/casual way that I'm attracted to black men, I'm met with jokes or shock or questions. The general assumption from society seems to be that it's a sexual perversion, that it's all about big black dicks, that it's some sort of joke. It's never just accepted as an ok/normal thing.

My good friends know about my preferences and they're totally fine with it - but there are still jokes when it comes up, or it's assumed that I'll have the hots for any black man that crosses our paths, regardless of whether I find him attractive or not.

I'm even afraid to tell a black guy that I may be dating that I prefer black men, in case he thinks it's weird or a fetish and I'm sexualising him.

Personally, my love for black men feels natural and pure and the LAST thing it feels to me is dirty or perverted. I just hate the assumption that if I like black guys, it must be about big dicks :(


Has anyone else had that kind of reception?
Click to expand...

Yes, it came at me from other people as well. I’ve been told that I’ve been white-washed. I’ve been called a traitor. They’ve said I only like white women because they’re submissive and slutty, which isn’t universally true and could apply to any woman of any color. I’ve had people gradually shy away from me over time once it became public. I was bummed about it at first, but I grew to appreciate it. It’s always good to identify where the ignorance and hate is coming from. It makes it easier to avoid it and have a happier life. We are all human for Christ’s sake. I don’t see a problem with it.
 
KingAesop said:
Yes, it came at me from other people as well. I’ve been told that I’ve been white-washed. I’ve been called a traitor. They’ve said I only like white women because they’re submissive and slutty, which isn’t universally true and could apply to any woman of any color. I’ve had people gradually shy away from me over time once it became public. I was bummed about it at first, but I grew to appreciate it. It’s always good to identify where the ignorance and hate is coming from. It makes it easier to avoid it and have a happier life. We are all human for Christ’s sake. I don’t see a problem with it.
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Yup! That an "you date WW because you can't deal with a strong BW", you're disrespecting your mother and all other BW. They're full of sh*t, and seriously narrow minded.
 
DudeNY12 said:
Yup! That an "you date WW because you can't deal with a strong BW", you're disrespecting your mother and all other BW. They're full of sh*t, and seriously narrow minded.
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So true. It sucks too because it comes from people you would’ve never known held those sentiments. You learn who your real friends and family are when you date interracially, especially when white and black people date each other.
 
vanille said:
Black, white, asian, etc... We're all just people and not wild animals. So having a relationship of any sort is nothing but normal.
So in that regard, it is not a perversion.

Yet, people often like to keep with things that are like them, things they know. It is more familiar, conforting, easier...
But everyone is different and unique, and some people like the appeal of the unknown, of what is different.
It is more challenging and simulating...
So in a sense, yeah, it is a perversion.

Aslo, there is also what people expect and how they see it.
For exemple, I've recently introduced my boyfriend to my friends.
I don't really talk sex with my male friends, but I got the same question from my female friends :
"Is it true ? Is it big ?"

And this will be the conclusion of what I think on the matter.
It is not, it should not be. But in a way, somehow, it is.
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vanille said:
Black, white, asian, etc... We're all just people and not wild animals. So having a relationship of any sort is nothing but normal.
So in that regard, it is not a perversion.

Yet, people often like to keep with things that are like them, things they know. It is more familiar, conforting, easier...
But everyone is different and unique, and some people like the appeal of the unknown, of what is different.
It is more challenging and simulating...
So in a sense, yeah, it is a perversion.

Aslo, there is also what people expect and how they see it.
For exemple, I've recently introduced my boyfriend to my friends.
I don't really talk sex with my male friends, but I got the same question from my female friends :
"Is it true ? Is it big ?"

And this will be the conclusion of what I think on the matter.
It is not, it should not be. But in a way, somehow, it is.
Click to expand...

I’m really active on Twitter, and the surge of racist post have gotten out of hand. One poster was criticizing Bill Gates’ daughter for dating a black man. They were making the usual stereotypical generalizations talking about she would’ve ended up being a single mother, she’s gonna get a black eye, so on and so on. I’m not gonna lie, it kinda got to me a little bit the way they were carrying on in the comment thread. There was one comment that bit the cake though. This white dude said that interracial relationships were unnatural and that you don’t see rhinos and hippos mating in nature, nor do you see zebras and giraffes mating, so why is it ok for black men and white woman to mate. I was fuming. The nerve of someone comparing different skin colors to different species of animals considering we are the SAME species. We can mate because we have the same genetic genome structure. Some people are ignorant as f**k and remain complicit because it suites their personal agenda. It’s hard to raise kids in a world where people think like this. Crazy.
 
KingAesop said:
I’m really active on Twitter, and the surge of racist post have gotten out of hand. One poster was criticizing Bill Gates’ daughter for dating a black man. They were making the usual stereotypical generalizations talking about she would’ve ended up being a single mother, she’s gonna get a black eye, so on and so on. I’m not gonna lie, it kinda got to me a little bit the way they were carrying on in the comment thread. There was one comment that bit the cake though. This white dude said that interracial relationships were unnatural and that you don’t see rhinos and hippos mating in nature, nor do you see zebras and giraffes mating, so why is it ok for black men and white woman to mate. I was fuming. The nerve of someone comparing different skin colors to different species of animals considering we are the SAME species. We can mate because we have the same genetic genome structure. Some people are ignorant as f**k and remain complicit because it suites their personal agenda. It’s hard to raise kids in a world where people think like this. Crazy.
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The ignorance and lack of understanding of science among racists is mind-boggling. If ethnic groups were different species, they would produce sterile offspring or be unable to mate at all. I agree 100% with you about the sharp spike in racism on Twitter, in particular, and online generally.
 
KingAesop said:
I’m really active on Twitter, and the surge of racist post have gotten out of hand. One poster was criticizing Bill Gates’ daughter for dating a black man. They were making the usual stereotypical generalizations talking about she would’ve ended up being a single mother, she’s gonna get a black eye, so on and so on. I’m not gonna lie, it kinda got to me a little bit the way they were carrying on in the comment thread. There was one comment that bit the cake though. This white dude said that interracial relationships were unnatural and that you don’t see rhinos and hippos mating in nature, nor do you see zebras and giraffes mating, so why is it ok for black men and white woman to mate. I was fuming. The nerve of someone comparing different skin colors to different species of animals considering we are the SAME species. We can mate because we have the same genetic genome structure. Some people are ignorant as f**k and remain complicit because it suites their personal agenda. It’s hard to raise kids in a world where people think like this. Crazy.
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Bear this in mind that lesser people can only feel good about themselves by saying negative things about others. That type can be found in every race/ethnicity.
 
Othello1967 said:
Bear this in mind that lesser people can only feel good about themselves by saying negative things about others. That type can be found in every race/ethnicity.
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The crazy part about all of this is that it’s being supported and reinforced by powerful people. It’s almost as if they are purposely stirring the pot. If people can’t see this, we are doomed. If this agenda is allowed to succeed, years from now we will look back and realize what an egregious error this was, but by then it will be too late. I really hope this doesn’t happen.
 
KingAesop said:
The crazy part about all of this is that it’s being supported and reinforced by powerful people. It’s almost as if they are purposely stirring the pot. If people can’t see this, we are doomed. If this agenda is allowed to succeed, years from now we will look back and realize what an egregious error this was, but by then it will be too late. I really hope this doesn’t happen.
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The powerful people do this to remain on top. It`s called divide and conquer. One of the theories for the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr is that he was planning to include poor whites into the movement. These whites historically were told by the not so poor whites that even though they were poor they were better than the poor blacks.
 
I recently found a post of exactly the type many of us forum members have pointed out in this thread and other conversations. While I respect these folks' right to their own particular brand of kink, I don't think their "white couple seeking black bull" tastes and our very real love relationships have anything to do with each other.
 
whikle said:
I'd like to know if anyone else has had a similar experience to me:

I've found that when I express to friends in a conversational/casual way that I'm attracted to black men, I'm met with jokes or shock or questions. The general assumption from society seems to be that it's a sexual perversion, that it's all about big black dicks, that it's some sort of joke. It's never just accepted as an ok/normal thing.

My good friends know about my preferences and they're totally fine with it - but there are still jokes when it comes up, or it's assumed that I'll have the hots for any black man that crosses our paths, regardless of whether I find him attractive or not.

I'm even afraid to tell a black guy that I may be dating that I prefer black men, in case he thinks it's weird or a fetish and I'm sexualising him.

Personally, my love for black men feels natural and pure and the LAST thing it feels to me is dirty or perverted. I just hate the assumption that if I like black guys, it must be about big dicks :(


Has anyone else had that kind of reception?
Click to expand...
Hie i kinda of understand you,having travelled and stayed in Europe for a while,I kind of realised that those not exposed much to us black people hve some kind of prejudice.However I found ladies exposed to us African or black men kind of understand us better
 
southfloridagirl said:
But you are a man. You are expected to have a sexual appetite. It's ok for you to be attracted to white women. It's not ok for a white woman to be attracted to you. See the difference?

If I'm wrong, then I'd like some of the men on here to please share their experiences of being ridiculed for being attracted to white women, and if any of the comments were based on white women's sexuality. Be specific.
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I have had African-American women and Latinas ridicule or otherwise scorn me for being involved with a white woman, mostly when I was younger or when in non-professional settings. The mocking was usually based on one of the perceived stereotypes about whitr women: 1) white women are weak and you choose her because you (I) are too weak to handle a “strong woman of color” ; 2) you lack self-love and respect for your ethnic group and lastly 3) you like white women because they allow all sorts of “nasty” acts that non-white women won’t tolerate.

i just don’t put much stock in their views and do what I want, but it’s annoying to be judged inaccurately by people who don’t know you, and yet often have some (not total) ability to shape social perception of who you are. Their views are not absolute and don’t hold total sway, but they can be an annoyance in certain settings. That being said, this was much more likely to happen in the late 80s/90s than today.
 
orejon4 said:
I have had African-American women and Latinas ridicule or otherwise scorn me for being involved with a white woman, mostly when I was younger or when in non-professional settings. The mocking was usually based on one of the perceived stereotypes about whitr women: 1) white women are weak and you choose her because you (I) are too weak to handle a “strong woman of color” ; 2) you lack self-love and respect for your ethnic group and lastly 3) you like white women because they allow all sorts of “nasty” acts that non-white women won’t tolerate.

i just don’t put much stock in their views and do what I want, but it’s annoying to be judged inaccurately by people who don’t know you, and yet often have some (not total) ability to shape social perception of who you are. Their views are not absolute and don’t hold total sway, but they can be an annoyance in certain settings. That being said, this was much more likely to happen in the late 80s/90s than today.
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The latter part always irks me the most in terms of “slutty” or “easy”. No WW aren’t any easier than any other women. IMO & in my experience they tend to be more direct. First 2-3 GF’s I had made it BRUTALLY apparent they liked me. One even laid her head on my shoulder the first time I really ever talked to her. Probably not conveying this properly lol but I hope what I’m saying makes some kind of sense. There was no guesswork involved which as a straightforward person, and more importantly an adult, was a breath of fresh air.
 
jmoney42 said:
The latter part always irks me the most in terms of “slutty” or “easy”. No WW aren’t any easier than any other women. IMO & in my experience they tend to be more direct. First 2-3 GF’s I had made it BRUTALLY apparent they liked me. One even laid her head on my shoulder the first time I really ever talked to her. Probably not conveying this properly lol but I hope what I’m saying makes some kind of sense. There was no guesswork involved which as a straightforward person, and more importantly an adult, was a breath of fresh air.
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Any difference in sexual tastes in my experience has been more a function of personal philosophy and approach to sexuality, not due to any lack of morality.
 
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