Cheaters

4north1side2 said:
Hmmm... When I have cheated it had absolutely nothing to do with being unhappy or it being impossible for a 1 person making me unhappy...Actually I was pretty damn happy the moments it occurred... I love cake and I'm going to eat it all. I guess it's a bit of a power trip and ego booster.

I'm content with a monogamous relationship but every few years I just want something different for a change. Sometimes I have options and I'm going to exercise them... I don't want to grow up all old regretting missed life experiences.
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Fair enough but it wouldn't it better for both parties to be in an open relationship?
 
MrFantastic said:
Gotta bump this because I need to hear from the cheaters real quick. For most of you is it that you fell out of love with the person you're with or is it impossible for one person to make you happy?

Just got off the phone with a friend who said she can't stop (fyi her fiance is white but she apparently can't get enough of bbc since the only two guys she cheated with were well endowed black guys)
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MF, why are you needing an answer quick? I am confused. Are you thinking of getting involved with her? Your life would probably be simpler if you just stay in your own lane. Why get involved with someone who is already involved? :confused: Maybe the "cheaters" will come on here and give you a different perspective but to me I think you will complicate your life if you are thinking of being with her.
 
JordanC said:
MF, why are you needing an answer quick? I am confused. Are you thinking of getting involved with her? Your life would probably be simpler if you just stay in your own lane. Why get involved with someone who is already involved? :confused: Maybe the "cheaters" will come on here and give you a different perspective but to me I think you will complicate your life if you are thinking of being with her.
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Real quick is just a figure of speech out here in NY JC. But I do agree I should stay in my own lane and not let what others do affect me so much. Cheating really bugs me I can't help it. Are you familiar with Dante's Inferno?
 
JordanC said:
Yes I am.
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The ninth realm of hell was reserved for betrayers, liars, backstabbers for a reason in my opinion. I guess since to my knowledge its never happened to me and thought of it is a real trigger for me. I just always believed if you really loved someone you couldnt possibly be so thoughtless and selfish, the fact people do this shit and then just pretend like nothing happened is amazing to me.
 
what i fear happening here is the dreaded self fulfilling prophecy...sometimes if a person is too worried or focuses too much on the fact that something bad might happen...then it will happen...

MF....if you go through relationships constantly questioning if someone is faithful...making them feel like you are not secure...hovering over every little thing...being suspicious...it's almost like you plant the seeds and water them...don't worry about what other people are doing or if they are cheating...if you don't cheat...when you cross the commitment line in a relationship and make it clear the cheating is a deal breaker...then you just have to let it be...hope for the best...be such a good bf or husband that your gf or wife wouldn't want to cheat on you
 
MrFantastic said:
The ninth realm of hell was reserved for betrayers, liars, backstabbers for a reason in my opinion. I guess since to my knowledge its never happened to me and thought of it is a real trigger for me. I just always believed if you really loved someone you couldnt possibly be so thoughtless and selfish, the fact people do this shit and then just pretend like nothing happened is amazing to me.
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IMO it's the worst thing you can do to someone you supposedly love. I also believe that if you really love someone, you would NEVER cheat on them. If something is so wrong in a relationship that a person wants to stray, that person needs to do the right thing, either by working with his/her partner to fix the issue or ending the relationship rather than betray that person. By disrespecting the relationship & one's partner, a person is also disrespecting his/her self.

No matter what spin is put on it or what excuses are made for it, there is NEVER a good reason to cheat, it NEVER 'just happens', it's NEVER anyone else's fault, & it's ALWAYS 100% selfishness.

lipstick said:
what i fear happening here is the dreaded self fulfilling prophecy...sometimes if a person is too worried or focuses too much on the fact that something bad might happen...then it will happen...

MF....if you go through relationships constantly questioning if someone is faithful...making them feel like you are not secure...hovering over every little thing...being suspicious...it's almost like you plant the seeds and water them...don't worry about what other people are doing or if they are cheating...if you don't cheat...when you cross the commitment line in a relationship and make it clear the cheating is a deal breaker...then you just have to let it be...hope for the best...be such a good bf or husband that your gf or wife wouldn't want to cheat on you
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Great advice, Lippy.
 
Tamstrong said:
IMO it's the worst thing you can do to someone you supposedly love. I also believe that if you really love someone, you would NEVER cheat on them. If something is so wrong in a relationship that a person wants to stray, that person needs to do the right thing, either by working with his/her partner to fix the issue or ending the relationship rather than betray that person. By disrespecting the relationship & one's partner, a person is also disrespecting his/her self.

No matter what spin is put on it or what excuses are made for it, there is NEVER a good reason to cheat, it NEVER 'just happens', it's NEVER anyone else's fault, & it's ALWAYS 100% selfishness.
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Agree. I keep wondering on the ones here encouraging kygirl to cheat if they were her husband would they be so openminded about her having someone on the side? I seriously, seriously doubt it. They would be indignant and flipping out if they were being cheated on. When it's done to you it just doesn't feel the same as when you are the cheater. :roll:
 
JordanC said:
Agree. I keep wondering on the ones here encouraging kygirl to cheat if they were her husband would they be so openminded about her having someone on the side? I seriously, seriously doubt it. They would be indignant and flipping out if they were being cheated on. When it's done to you it just doesn't feel the same as when you are the cheater. :roll:
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I agree with you JC.

I have been cheated on yet I do think that KY has been treated kinda unfairly since so many guys are on here looking for something on the side and they seem to get a free pass and not only that, they get heaps of women flirting with them constantly.

I just don't like the double standard. Cheating is lame to the 1000th degree and cheaters are all assholes but should be treated equally. At least here either they should all get run off or they can all stay and express themselves with respect.
 
JordanC said:
Agree. I keep wondering on the ones here encouraging kygirl to cheat if they were her husband would they be so openminded about her having someone on the side? I seriously, seriously doubt it. They would be indignant and flipping out if they were being cheated on. When it's done to you it just doesn't feel the same as when you are the cheater. :roll:
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You hit the nail on the head, JC. I also have serious doubts that any of them would want to be in her husband's position. In a relationship, being cheated on is just about the worst thing your partner could do to you. Why in the world would someone knowingly mess around with a cheater? If a single person is just looking for someone to fuck, there are plenty of other single people running around who'd be willing to do it.
 
Athena said:
I agree with you JC.

I have been cheated on yet I do think that KY has been treated kinda unfairly since so many guys are on here looking for something on the side and they seem to get a free pass and not only that, they get heaps of women flirting with them constantly.

I just don't like the double standard. Cheating is lame to the 1000th degree and cheaters are all assholes but should be treated equally. At least here either they should all get run off or they can all stay and express themselves with respect.
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I feel the same about cheating regardless of who does it & I agree that cheaters are assholes & they should be treated equally. I know there are some people on the forum who fit in the cheater/asshole category, & although I express my honest opinion on the subject itself, what they do & the consequences are their problem.

I do have an issue with KY & it's not about of her lack of scruples. My issue with her (& people like her) is her lack of respect & appreciation for IR & for BM as people. She speaks of BM as objects & views them according to stereotypes & I find it highly offensive. Real interracial relationships aren't based on that garbage. Many of us here have genuine interest in & love for one another & I don't appreciate someone disrespecting that.
 
why make another thread if you already know other cheating threads exist?

why give a guy a vagina if he already has a penis?

why give a dog a bone if he has 2 already?
 
A new wanna be Drama Queen/King Shit Stirrer in the house I see....


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Sock Puppet said:
There has been a lot of talk lately on various threads about cheating, with a number of posters being ready to tar and feather anyone who has strayed. I would like to suggest that the situation is sometimes more complicated than the tar and feather crew might be willing to believe.

I will admit to having cheated. Why did I do it? My spouse - who I do love, for the record - is several years older than I am and, due to a physical disability, is incapable of sexual relations. So.... why don't I leave? There is that thing about loving my spouse. I am also aware that leaving would mean that my spouse would be alone in the world and I don't feel like I could do that.

So, after being faithful and celibate for many years, I cheated. I don't pretend that what I did was right and I am not claiming that my actions were justified. I'm sure that I will be virtually tarred and feathered by many people on here. I am only sharing my story to suggest that cheating isn't always about being bored or seeking a thrill. Sometimes the situation is a little more complicated than that and, in my case, I feel like leaving and abandoning my spouse would be the truly selfish choice.

Bring on the tar and feathers.
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Could you explain how you can love someone and cheat on them? I don't get that. I'd leave if the relationship wasn't working.:smt102
 
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