Favorite quotes

“When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.” - Norm Crosby
 
I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila.” - Unknown
 
"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.” - Robert Purvis
 
“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.” - Rodney Dangerfield
 
“How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?” - Unknown
 
“If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.” - Robin Williams
 
“By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.” - Charles Wadsworth
 
”Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.” - Oprah Winfrey
 
”Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.” - Franklin P. Jones
 
“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” - Robin Williams
 
“At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.” - Ann Landers
 
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