Random Conversation 2.0
- Thread starter Bookworm616
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lzw
New Member
yes, this community is super unique and I'm glad it's still here! someone was telling me that back before reddit swallowed everything up, there were all kinds of different forum websites with an actual community feel and people who got to know each other. unfortunately I wasn't around for that era
orejon4
Well-Known Member
I have to be honest and say that I don't see the difference in terms of modern vs pre-modern women. I think there are women who are awesome (as well as awful) distributed across the various categories or groupings. Not all old-fashioned women are more loving, attentive, etc. In my experience, they could be just as attuned to getting what they want out of a man and surviving as a more individually-oriented or selfish modern woman, but they might just present it differently. And sometimes that old-fashioned attentiveness could be suffocating as well. I think it all depends, and the same goes for us men as well. I know dudes who are very easygoing (modern) and the more attention-seeking/needy/traditional dudes can also have a negative side of possessiveness, machismo and the like.
In light of the fucked up political climate in the USA I've come to expect a lot of the racist crap that pops up on this site to come from the idiot-minded MAGA MFs (which has typically been the case since their "movement" originated), but the most recent one was a white woman from the UK. Just an FYI and a bit of troll trivia if anyone is interested.
A big thank you to all the folks who reported their disgusting posts. xoxo
A big thank you to all the folks who reported their disgusting posts. xoxo
Ol'Skool Classic
Well-Known Member
Any non-Americans who express pro-MAGA views & sentiments is a dead give away they are trash human beings. Especially if they claim to be black men. They aren't & never will be a part of the IR tribe.
Agreed 100%.
JayPrimo5
Active Member
That's a great question and after my most recent break up, I would say that dating with a purpose is still worth it.
I was born and raised in Georgia. Although I was too young to attend, the Freaknik and Black Bike Week were the kickoffs of interaction. The music was loud and the celebs were everywhere. As I grew up, I was expecting the good times and cool vibes to last. I came of age during the Southern Hip-Hop/Rap take over of the 2000's. We had parties left and right, everyone was cool in their Air Force Ones and White Tees, and having a job that paid $6 an hour meant that you were hustling legally and a baller on the low. Parties at the parks and parking lots with the nice cars was life.
It seems that an unfortunate divide has been made between the single men and single women looking for each other. Before social media and smartphones were a big part of everyday life, face-to-face interactions were everything. Club culture was interactive but now seems to be a collection of isolated individuals or small groups sharing a room. It's rare to have house parties anymore, when inflated prices won't allow anyone but a few that are fortunate enough to afford a house. The shutdown of 2020 and the rise of incentivized/compensated content creation widened the distance between people. Add in reality television shows that show people living as the top 1%-10% of wealth that 90%-99% can't relate to nor connect with but have some that wishfully thinking try to emulate, hookup culture that has been digitized and made easier than ever with apps that find you someone without more effort than tapping your phone, and the economy after the 2007-2009 recession coupled with the inflation of the current times.
Unrealistic expectations, selfishness and self centeredness, hints of narcissism or lacking empathy, a controlling nature or generally negative attitude, extreme emotional responses and mood swings that lack logic or reason, the avoidance of personal accountability and the unfair delegation of personal responsibilities to a partner are all unequal and one sided interactions that aren't new or modern but do seem to have the most overlap, when describing toxic people in the modern dating world. Bad and negative news has the largest engagement and makes the biggest emotional impact to yield the most response. This is what most algorithms push online and it overshadows more positive interactions and lessens the good content that would otherwise be readily available.
Communication skills development for cold approaching to have pleasant conversations, the detachment from social media and online sometimes, and self improvement balanced with community involvement have been what has allowed me to have success in dating. Dating hasn't been ideal to me but it's always been worth it, when I find a good connection with a woman. I had to learn to be patient and clear with my intentions to find someone worth my time and energy. It may take longer than expected but desperation isn't worth the risk.
orejon4
Well-Known Member
Thanks to you and Tamstrong for flagging them. I didn't know they had popped up here.
Ol'Skool Classic
Well-Known Member
A wide variety of racists, weirdos & naysayers are constantly popping up here. That sadly is something that will continue as long as their are humans walking the earth.
And I can't take credit for flagging them this go round. Other posters clocked them & reported them for deletion.
orejon4
Well-Known Member
I'm glad they were flagged before they fouled up the place. We have had some real doozies around here in times past. Sadly some were even long time posters to the site who trolled some of the other members, picked fights, etc. This is the last place on earth I expected that sort of behavior.
Ol'Skool Classic
Well-Known Member
It was bound to happen considering the nature of the internet and people using it to hide in order to indulge in all their worst impulses & negative biases. If this were an IRL face to face gathering space it would be a lot harder to get away with much less allowed access into.
CAKicker
Well-Known Member
I feel like I owe this forum an apology. As you can probably tell at me asking a lot of dating questions, I lack self-confidence with the opposite sex. And some of you have been hearing that for years. I'm sorry you had to read all of that. I've been a Martial Artist for years, & those who are close to me know that even though I have fun with it, I take the teaching & philosophy very seriously. I take what I learned from the Dojang (Dojo) & use it outside the Dojang. I should've already been confident. I want to apologize to @Ol'Skool Classic for taking much out of this to defend me when I bought up the height. I've been trying to get things in order. I haven't been inside a Dojang since 03 since I had to move to another state & there are no Dojangs where I live. I've been trying to get back into one but I know I have to be patient. When I do get back I'm going to buy me new uniforms (the pic I was trying to post was too big), I even post a pic here when that happens. Once again I apologize (especially to @Tamstrong) for letting you guys & gals down. I won't ask a dating question every 3 seconds.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Ol'Skool Classic
Well-Known Member
No apologies needed. As long as you're not letting your lack of self confidence get the better of you that you're being a total ignorant asshole in your interactions with others, then you are golden. The same can't be said for others who have & still do find their way to this forum.
You don't owe anyone an apology for anything, and you haven't let anyone down. You are entirely too hard on yourself sometimes though, so you should give yourself some grace. As long as you keep learning, growing, living right, staying focused on your goals/dreams/health, and not letting low confidence or setbacks defeat you, you're good to go. Ain't nobody mad at you for being a human being, so please don't feel like you have to apologize for being one. *hugs*
orejon4
Well-Known Member
There is nothing to feel bad about. We all experience low moments or crises of confidence. It’s human. That is how I made my way to this site as well, going through a divorce from my ex-wife. I found some great people on this site, despite the presence of the occasional a*hole or a*holette, lol. You never know, you may get some excellent advice on here, and befriend some cool people every once in awhile.
Hang in there.
Ol'Skool Classic
Well-Known Member
CAKicker
Well-Known Member
I have to say, I love my parents
They say they don't care which woman I date, as long as she makes me happy. I told my mom what BW said about BM ("if you don't date a BW, you hate your mother) & she just roll her eyes. My dad doesn't care either. If you know my dad he won't talk to anyone unless her knows the person, but when we picked up my white GF at the time (I wasn't driving yet) he started talking to her. I know we shouldn't get approval from strangers & maybe some family members, but it's nice that my parents got my back.
They say they don't care which woman I date, as long as she makes me happy. I told my mom what BW said about BM ("if you don't date a BW, you hate your mother) & she just roll her eyes. My dad doesn't care either. If you know my dad he won't talk to anyone unless her knows the person, but when we picked up my white GF at the time (I wasn't driving yet) he started talking to her. I know we shouldn't get approval from strangers & maybe some family members, but it's nice that my parents got my back.
Ol'Skool Classic
Well-Known Member
I have to say, I love my parents
Your parents are being who they are: Good Parents & Good People. Good parents & people do not get hung up on race. They see & judge others as individuals. The whole "content of character" thing that MLK spoke of which the majority of people pay lip service to but don't actually practice.
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orejon4
Well-Known Member
That is awesome. Supportive parents who realize it is their job to support their child’s development and growth rather than fulfill their own unmet aspirations are awesome. I can only hope that my child feels that I have been that same type of parent.I have to say, I love my parents