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TreePixie said:
But if he walks up out of the blue and says "Hey baby, you're cute. We should hang out sometime" he's not likely to get a good response either. Approaching someone online is different in some ways and not different in others.

When you approach a woman in real life, you've taken notice of something, and generally use that as an opener, yes? When your approach is totally generic, you're likely to get eyerolling as a response, as you're being seen as a PUA. You try to be clever, or charming, or ask about her dog, or whatever - but "Hey baby, if I told you you have a beautiful body would you hold it against me?" is not likely to get you anything but laughed at or ignored.

I think all I'm saying is the guy who catches my attention has related to me as a person as best he can, rather than to me as a generic female.
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My sense is that people who're serious about wanting to meet people take full advantage of the "tools" at their disposal. In real life, this does mean that physicality is important, how someone looks, how they're dressed, their demeanor, how they approach someone, what they say and how they say it.

Online, the best tools that you have are your presentation, a combination of your profile "statistics", your interests and how you express yourself. These things set the tone, IMO for many who're searching through profiles.

In the case of messages received, I can only speak for myself. I put much more weight on what someone expresses in her first message to me, before I bother to view her profile. I want to know that the person contacted me because they have a genuine interest in getting to know me. So, if I get a generic, "hi", "nice smile" or "you're a nice looking guy" and nothing else, I'M NOT IMPRESSED. IF I respond, at all, it'll definitely be in kind, something like, "thank you", or "I appreciate your comments", and nothing more, period.

I'm not looking for prose, but I want to get a sense that they didn't just choose me by looking at pictures, that they actually took the time to read my profile and find ME interesting. The best means of letting me know that is by commenting on our common interests by something she read in my profile.
 
I wonder how many people have actually found a good relationship online. Me and a friend sat down and thought about it once and came to the conclusion it was like 2 out of the 16 couples we know met that way. Slim odds but not impossible I guess.
chesbaygrl7 said:
Personally, I hate the online dating thing. DK (I think it was him) said he has yet to find a woman of substance that way, and I would echo that with trying to meet a guy. I interacted with quite a few in the year I was online, and only one (who I subsequently dated for more than a year) was worth my time. When it came down to it, they were all looking for a hookup (with one or two exceptions), even though I indicated in my profile that I was not open to that and instead, was marriage-minded.

I could write a book about some of the crazy experiences I had. My friend told me if she hadn't been privy to the details of my experiences, she wouldn't have believed they all happened to one person.

I think I'm a pretty decent person just looking for a good guy who wants a relationship. Didn't have any idea how hard that would be. :smt102
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The Dark Knight said:
I wonder how many people have actually found a good relationship online. Me and a friend sat down and thought about it once and came to the conclusion it was like 2 out of the 16 couples we know met that way. Slim odds but not impossible I guess.
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Conversely, how many people find "good" relationships in real life...I think the odds are pretty slim in real life as well. I think often that it's the luck of the draw in both cases. That's my opinion, anyway.
 
The Dark Knight said:
I wonder how many people have actually found a good relationship online. Me and a friend sat down and thought about it once and came to the conclusion it was like 2 out of the 16 couples we know met that way. Slim odds but not impossible I guess.
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I don't disagree with that, the problem is the floods of disingenuous people and people that just have OL dating ADD.

But sending a message that shows that you read her profile, will give you better odds than just a "hey, lets meet for coffee".

f a woman gets 60 messages, perhaps 50 are junk and most of those will not be read or responded to (personally I don't respond to any of those), so why do you want to guarantee that your message ends up in that pile?

Any woman I know that do OL dating, click delete on all those and actually read the ones that are a true message.

It does not have to be long at all, but if the first line ensure that you actually read her profile, you will have a higher chance to be read than if its a generic, "I like your picture, lets meet".

On the other hand, if you are only looking for a hook-up, then just send the generic "lets meet" message, nothing wrong w that.
Lots of women on there that are only looking for a hook-up as well. Most women that look for something serious will most likely skip it, but then, that is a moot point then.
 
The Dark Knight said:
I wonder how many people have actually found a good relationship online. Me and a friend sat down and thought about it once and came to the conclusion it was like 2 out of the 16 couples we know met that way. Slim odds but not impossible I guess.
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My ex met his current wife on EHarmony and it's a good match. I know several other married couples who met online, all on EHarmony and all solid marriages.
 
Fair enough. I guess the disconnect also comes from women being the choosers and men being the chosen in this scenario. Its easy to say put more effort in when you don't have to. And I admit this might sound a little defeatist but I figure sending out the same" You sound interesting not to mention easy on the eyes. We should sometime" message is time better spent then going through the trouble of reading a profile to make a more personal message to never hear back from someone. Its all a numbers game and I think if someone finds you attractive enough they'll look past a bad first message to see what you hae on your profile. It only takes two minutes.

FG said:
I don't disagree with that, the problem is the floods of disingenuous people and people that just have OL dating ADD.

But sending a message that shows that you read her profile, will give you better odds than just a "hey, lets meet for coffee".

f a woman gets 60 messages, perhaps 50 are junk and most of those will not be read or responded to (personally I don't respond to any of those), so why do you want to guarantee that your message ends up in that pile?

Any woman I know that do OL dating, click delete on all those and actually read the ones that are a true message.

It does not have to be long at all, but if the first line ensure that you actually read her profile, you will have a higher chance to be read than if its a generic, "I like your picture, lets meet".

On the other hand, if you are only looking for a hook-up, then just send the generic "lets meet" message, nothing wrong w that.
Lots of women on there that are only looking for a hook-up as well. Most women that look for something serious will most likely skip it, but then, that is a moot point then.
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swirlman07 said:
My sense is that people who're serious about wanting to meet people take full advantage of the "tools" at their disposal. In real life, this does mean that physicality is important, how someone looks, how they're dressed, their demeanor, how they approach someone, what they say and how they say it.

Online, the best tools that you have are your presentation, a combination of your profile "statistics", your interests and how you express yourself. These things set the tone, IMO for many who're searching through profiles.

In the case of messages received, I can only speak for myself. I put much more weight on what someone expresses in her first message to me, before I bother to view her profile. I want to know that the person contacted me because they have a genuine interest in getting to know me. So, if I get a generic, "hi", "nice smile" or "you're a nice looking guy" and nothing else, I'M NOT IMPRESSED. IF I respond, at all, it'll definitely be in kind, something like, "thank you", or "I appreciate your comments", and nothing more, period.

I'm not looking for prose, but I want to get a sense that they didn't just choose me by looking at pictures, that they actually took the time to read my profile and find ME interesting. The best means of letting me know that is by commenting on our common interests by something she read in my profile.
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Well said, and I agree. If the message doesn't interest me, I don't bother to look at the profile. If a guy is a dick, it doesn't matter if he looks like a god, I'm not interested.
 
I swear to god if the Minnesota Vikings don't win in week 5, I'm quitting football altogether this season. 0-4 is just unacceptable. 0-5 is just bullshit.
 
SonnyShao said:
I swear to god if the Minnesota Vikings don't win in week 5, I'm quitting football altogether this season. 0-4 is just unacceptable. 0-5 is just bullshit.
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Blame it all on McNabb. That's what Eagles fans did. 'Cept me. He was alright.
 
chesbaygrl7 said:
Blame it all on McNabb. That's what Eagles fans did. 'Cept me. He was alright.
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I blame our defense. We set a record of blowing 4 games straight. First team in the league to do that. We were ahead at the half, then we put ourselves in a river of shit. We are fuck-ups right now.
 
SonnyShao said:
I blame our defense. We set a record of blowing 4 games straight. First team in the league to do that. We were ahead at the half, then we put ourselves in a river of shit. We are fuck-ups right now.
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We're (the Eagles) not far behind...still waitin' for that "Dream Team" :smt087
 
I just had one of the worst lunches in recent memories.

My (male) coworkers and I decided to try the Tilted Kilt Restaurant that just opened up by our work. I've been to Hooters before with them and it was fine.

But this was possibly the worst lunch ever. Besides the fact that I felt fat and that I was a genius, the food sucked. They got all of our meals wrong in one way or another, but not one of the men complained about it. LOL.

The conversation was very stimulating: it consisted of all of them deciding which girl was the "best one". I updated Facebook and finished my Scrabble game on my phone during lunch.

Then our waitress, who was about as smart as a box of rocks, asked me more than once what kind of dressing I wanted on my chicken ceasar salad. Are ya kidding me??? Then I didn't even get the chicken with my salad. ARGH! I didn't complain because this chick was seriously so dumb, I don't think she would have understood me anyway. LOL.

So, I ended up paying $16 for a ceasar salad that was DRENCHED in dressing and pretty disgusting and to hear my coworkers basically objectify women to the Nth degree and ignore me for the most part.

Every woman we ran into at that place had an IQ of a box of rocks. I'm not kidding.

Not only am I completely depressed about my own body, but I'm also looking at my Engineer coworkers in a new and not so good light. Really, guys? Because half of their boobs were hanging out you think this was the greatest place ever? I'm seriously down on men right now.

I need to drop about 40 pounds and about 30 IQ points, apparently, if I want to get a man. :roll: Jesus.
 
Bookworm616 said:
I just had one of the worst lunches in recent memories.

My (male) coworkers and I decided to try the Tilted Kilt Restaurant that just opened up by our work. I've been to Hooters before with them and it was fine.

But this was possibly the worst lunch ever. Besides the fact that I felt fat and that I was a genius, the food sucked. They got all of our meals wrong in one way or another, but not one of the men complained about it. LOL.

The conversation was very stimulating: it consisted of all of them deciding which girl was the "best one". I updated Facebook and finished my Scrabble game on my phone during lunch.

Then our waitress, who was about as smart as a box of rocks, asked me more than once what kind of dressing I wanted on my chicken ceasar salad. Are ya kidding me??? Then I didn't even get the chicken with my salad. ARGH! I didn't complain because this chick was seriously so dumb, I don't think she would have understood me anyway. LOL.

So, I ended up paying $16 for a ceasar salad that was DRENCHED in dressing and pretty disgusting and to hear my coworkers basically objectify women to the Nth degree and ignore me for the most part.

Every woman we ran into at that place had an IQ of a box of rocks. I'm not kidding.

Not only am I completely depressed about my own body, but I'm also looking at my Engineer coworkers in a new and not so good light. Really, guys? Because half of their boobs were hanging out you think this was the greatest place ever? I'm seriously down on men right now.

I need to drop about 40 pounds and about 30 IQ points, apparently, if I want to get a man. :roll: Jesus.
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That's the price of being friends with men my friend.
If you want to lose weight for you do it but don't do it for men baby girl. It'll just make you self conscious for no reason.
 
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