Cheaters

I need to rush out and buy Ray Jay's book;;;NOT....what about why women cheat? We do it just as much as men. Monogamy is not easy for many people , despsite gender and there is not one solid reasons as to why a person betrays the one they love.

The ONLY thing I agreed with on the entire video is that a relationship CAN survive cheating.
 
Ma'am

that shit I bolded, that shit I bolded is just........

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Alinoa said:
I'm not necessarily saying its NOT cheating. Depending upon perception it is or isn't.

What I am saying, mostly, is that it's wrong for me to expect my SO to conform to some kind of "you can't talk to another woman/think about another woman/pay attention to only me and be completely non human. How many of these women who say their boyfriends/husbands CANT watch porn talk/talk to another girl but then flirt with co workers or go to "girls nite out"? The ones who have to exert that much control over another human are insecure.

It's like we go in with a double standard to begin with. If a woman flirts with a man or watches chippendales..it won't really lead to anything because it's men who cheat.

Gah. I don't know. It's much easier to explain in my brain
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Uh oh. Here we go.

Say you love someone, you've got a solid relationship, yadayada but are given the opportunity to CHEAT on that person with the guarantee that they will NEVER find out... would you?

Some folks in the smoking area at the bar were talking about this the other day and I was really surprised at their notion that most people are actually so faithful as not to step out. My automatic assumption is that MOST people would take the opportunity even if they loved their partner. What they won't know won't hurt them..right?

Can you love someone and still cheat?
 
Alexis89 said:
Uh oh. Here we go.

Say you love someone, you've got a solid relationship, yadayada but are given the opportunity to CHEAT on that person with the guarantee that they will NEVER find out... would you?

Some folks in the smoking area at the bar were talking about this the other day and I was really surprised at their notion that most people are actually so faithful as not to step out. My automatic assumption is that MOST people would take the opportunity even if they loved their partner. What they won't know won't hurt them..right?

Can you love someone and still cheat?
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I'm going to be honest and say NO. I would NEVER cheat, not even if I had that opportunity...forget that! People are not meant to be played around with...and if someone cheats on someone else, then there's something wrong with that person. Cheating is not right...especially in good relationships. If people are going to cheat, then it's their loss for wrecking a relationship.

Sorry.....I just had to blab it out in my honest opinions.
 
If someone is willing to cheat on their partner, there's probably something missing in the relationship to begin with. If you're completely content with your partner, you wouldn't even look elsewhere, in my opinion.

Some people just get bored with the same person and want a change or don't have the ability to stay loyal, but it isn't always that. If a partner was straying (but didn't actually do anything), and I knew, I'd sit down with them and see what they thought was missing.

I wouldn't be able to cheat, I'd feel too guilty. I'd go out to clubs and dance with people, fine... But at the end of the night, I'd be going home and sleeping with my partner, or alone... No one else.
 
When I cheat, then it's to make a final decision. It's the last prove that this man is no longer important to me and that I cannot change my mind anymore.
To cheat and to look into the eyes of my man is another story- then I prefer to be open from the beginning and to talk to him about an affair or open relationship. I don't like that stressful life, if you have to take care, who is calling, when and all that bullshit
 
christine dubois said:
When I cheat, then it's to make a final decision. It's the last prove that this man is no longer important to me and that I cannot change my mind anymore.
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Would you give him the option to leave the relationship FIRST, before introducing cheating or the thought of cheating into the equation? What you stated could come off as 'cheating' being a suitable method for ending or changing a relationship.
 
Max Mosley said:
Would you give him the option to leave the relationship FIRST, before introducing cheating or the thought of cheating into the equation? What you stated could come off as 'cheating' being a suitable method for ending or changing a relationship.
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It's just a confirmation (that it is really over) for me , I never informed him about it, for what?. I know that when I do it, I cannot go back anymore, whatever happens. I have problems to let someone go, on one hand, you know it has no future, on the other hand you stll have feelings for that person.

To know that the relationship is over and to turn round and leave can be a very long process, if he goes first, he would just hasten it, what would be a good step.
 
christine dubois said:
It's just a confirmation (that it is really over) for me , I never informed him about it, for what?. I know that when I do it, I cannot go back anymore, whatever happens. I have problems to let someone go, on one hand, you know it has no future, on the other hand you stll have feelings for that person.

To know that the relationship is over and to turn round and leave can be a very long process, if he goes first, he would just hasten it, what would be a good step.
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Unless she later morphs into a straight up skank, I tend to have respect and consideration for my exes. Even when its clear it aint gonna work. If I have the opportunity to actually communicate the breakup before demonstrating it by sleepin with another chick, I'll do it.

Nobody needs to be humiliated unnecessarily. But hey....different strokes for different folks.
 
Max Mosley said:
Unless she later morphs into a straight up skank, I tend to have respect and consideration for my exes. Even when its clear it aint gonna work. If I have the opportunity to actually communicate the breakup before demonstrating it by sleepin with another chick, I'll do it.

Nobody needs to be humiliated unnecessarily. But hey....different strokes for different folks.
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I think it also has to do which experiences one made with breakups. Mine were never easy and fast. It was never like that you talk and it's over. It was always a back and forth, that's why I said, a final decision.
 
This thread reminds me of a scene from "City Slickers" Bruno Kirby asks Billy Crystal the following question

You're all alone in the middle of nowhere when a spaceship lands and the most beautiful woman you've ever seen (or man for you ladies) steps out and says she wants to have the best sex in the universe and she wants to have it with you. When it's all over with, she gets back on her space ship and flies away, never to be seen again.

Billy response is that it doesn't matter if nobody else would know, he would know and he would not be happy with himself, thus he would not do it. IMO cheating is always about the person themselves, do you keep your word or not? Its not about the other person or the consequences should you be found out.
 
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