Cheaters

[ANANSI12]

Naw, the thought of guilt would haunt me. So i'd rather not.

 

[Athena]

If someone is willing to cheat on their partner, there's probably something missing in the relationship to begin with. If you're completely content with your partner, you wouldn't even look elsewhere, in my opinion.

I agree completely, end the relationship instead of hurting someone. If I get bored or feel the relationship is going nowhere, I'd end it and enjoy being single. Oh wait, I'm doing that now. ahahahahahaa

 

[Athena]

Unless she later morphs into a straight up skank, I tend to have respect and consideration for my exes. Even when its clear it aint gonna work. If I have the opportunity to actually communicate the breakup before demonstrating it by sleepin with another chick, I'll do it.

Nobody needs to be humiliated unnecessarily. But hey....different strokes for different folks.

I concur with this as well.

 

[Bliss]

This thread reminds me of a scene from "City Slickers" Bruno Kirby asks Billy Crystal the following question

You're all alone in the middle of nowhere when a spaceship lands and the most beautiful woman you've ever seen (or man for you ladies) steps out and says she wants to have the best sex in the universe and she wants to have it with you. When it's all over with, she gets back on her space ship and flies away, never to be seen again.

Billy response is that it doesn't matter if nobody else would know, he would know and he would not be happy with himself, thus he would not do it. IMO cheating is always about the person themselves, do you keep your word or not? Its not about the other person or the consequences should you be found out.

Well that's because he had a camera in his face. lol.

J/k no, your point it a common one - that cheating is all about the character of the person who does it, not the person often blamed for it. (the cheated). Sometimes though, alienation of affection can lead a partner to consider North's equation, despite still loving their partner. A person's mind can often justify many things if it feels victimized.
Which is why regular sex should never be taken for granted...it's just as important as committed love.

 

[christine dubois]

Well that's because he had a camera in his face. lol.

J/k no, your point it a common one - that cheating is all about the character of the person who does it, not the person often blamed for it. (the cheated). Sometimes though, alienation of affection can lead a partner to consider North's equation, despite still loving their partner. A person's mind can often justify many things if it feels victimized.
Which is why regular sex should never be taken for granted...it's just as important as committed love.

What North said is something I hear very often. My experience is that "not to cheat" is the exception, not the normality. But all of them (most are male colleagues) say that they love their wives or girl-friends.
I also think that it has a lot to do with how old the people are and how long they are together. Some even found a solution by changing partners. These people don't want to leave their partner, but the sex is just not that adventurous anymore as it was sometimes.

 

[Bookworm616]

This thread reminds me of a scene from "City Slickers" Bruno Kirby asks Billy Crystal the following question

You're all alone in the middle of nowhere when a spaceship lands and the most beautiful woman you've ever seen (or man for you ladies) steps out and says she wants to have the best sex in the universe and she wants to have it with you. When it's all over with, she gets back on her space ship and flies away, never to be seen again.

Billy response is that it doesn't matter if nobody else would know, he would know and he would not be happy with himself, thus he would not do it. IMO cheating is always about the person themselves, do you keep your word or not? Its not about the other person or the consequences should you be found out.

This is exactly what I was going to say. It doesn't matter if I know beforehand that I would never get caught by my significant other, I'd still have my conscience to answer to....and that can be worse than being caught. LOL.

Naw, the thought of guilt would haunt me. So i'd rather not.

Exactly. Rep added. :smt023

The only time I would ever step out on a relationship would be if George Clooney, Karl Urban, or Jeremy Renner wanted to have sex with me. :smt081 And of course, they'd be on my predetermined list of hot men that I could sleep with, that my S.O. knows about up front, that no consequences would befall the relationship. :mrgreen:

 

[FG]

People need to stop interwining "love" and sex, one is a action and the other is an emotion.

The problem w that statement is that cheating comes with deception and lies and hurt. Its not the sex per se that is the damaging factor - its what comes with it. Broken trust is really hard to mend.

I put integrity first, which means you do the right thing even when nobody is watching. That is when it actually counts.

If I do something that I would not want my spouse to know - that is the gauge for deciding to not do it.

 

[Ches]

If someone is willing to cheat on their partner, there's probably something missing in the relationship to begin with. If you're completely content with your partner, you wouldn't even look elsewhere, in my opinion.
Some people just get bored with the same person and want a change or don't have the ability to stay loyal, but it isn't always that. If a partner was straying (but didn't actually do anything), and I knew, I'd sit down with them and see what they thought was missing.

I wouldn't be able to cheat, I'd feel too guilty. I'd go out to clubs and dance with people, fine... But at the end of the night, I'd be going home and sleeping with my partner, or alone... No one else.

I agree. Great post, Nic!

 

[Ches]

The problem w that statement is that cheating comes with deception and lies and hurt. Its not the sex per se that is the damaging factor - its what comes with it. Broken trust is really hard to mend.

I put integrity first, which means you do the right thing even when nobody is watching. That is when it actually counts.

If I do something that I would not want my spouse to know - that is the gauge for deciding to not do it.

Great post, FG! I tried to rep you but before I could write anything your rep was given! So if you get a blank one, it was from me! I'm not typically speechless, but well, there's a first for everything, I guess.

 

[newblackman88]

I wouldn't cheat, I believe if you have a girlfriend or wife who you love and care about then why cheat even if I could get away I still wouldn't do it because it is wrong and would weigh on my conscience.

 

[The Dark King]

Never had a reason to cheat. Then again can we define cheating. My girl thinks anything below the neck and any action that lasts longer than the count of two is cheating.

I always felt if you feel its wrong then its wrong.

 

[Tamstrong]

Unless she later morphs into a straight up skank, I tend to have respect and consideration for my exes. Even when its clear it aint gonna work. If I have the opportunity to actually communicate the breakup before demonstrating it by sleepin with another chick, I'll do it.

Nobody needs to be humiliated unnecessarily. But hey....different strokes for different folks.

Agreed. I don't care what the situation is, there's no reason to hurt or humiliate someone...not even if that person hurt or humiliated me. Easy or not, if it's not working, it's best just to walk away.

This thread reminds me of a scene from "City Slickers" Bruno Kirby asks Billy Crystal the following question

You're all alone in the middle of nowhere when a spaceship lands and the most beautiful woman you've ever seen (or man for you ladies) steps out and says she wants to have the best sex in the universe and she wants to have it with you. When it's all over with, she gets back on her space ship and flies away, never to be seen again.

Billy response is that it doesn't matter if nobody else would know, he would know and he would not be happy with himself, thus he would not do it. IMO cheating is always about the person themselves, do you keep your word or not? Its not about the other person or the consequences should you be found out.

Well said, Loki. The responsibility for cheating is never on the person being cheated on. Cheating is 100% selfish and indicates a severely flawed character. There is no excuse for cheating.

 

[wtarshi]

Never had a reason to cheat. Then again can we define cheating. My girl thinks anything below the neck and any action that lasts longer than the count of two is cheating.

I always felt if you feel its wrong then its wrong.

i agree with your girl. i'm also of the belief that having relationships online is also cheating. if you're flirting up a storm online and you're in a relationship & hide it because you know your partner would not approve, then you know that it's cheating.

 

[The Dark King]

i agree with your girl. i'm also of the belief that having relationships online is also cheating. if you're flirting up a storm online and you're in a relationship & hide it because you know your partner would not approve, then you know that it's cheating.

So I guess you're asking half the guys in relationships to leave? Lol

Flirting to me is harmless just as long as you know it ends there. Its the equivilant of porn to me. Its not real. Now if you are acting on the flirting then I'd be inclined to agree with you boobs.

 

[wtarshi]

So I guess you're asking half the guys in relationships to leave? Lol

Flirting to me is harmless just as long as you know it ends there. Its the equivilant of porn to me. Its not real. Now if you are acting on the flirting then I'd be inclined to agree with you boobs.

lol thanks for that fanny. i'm just saying if you'd be happy with your partner doing it, then so be it, but if you know that if you found out that your partner was making suggestive comments to other people and calling them your e-husband/e-wife and it would upset you, then maybe you should stop

 

[The Dark King]

lol thanks for that fanny. i'm just saying if you'd be happy with your partner doing it, then so be it, but if you know that if you found out that your partner was making suggestive comments to other people and calling them your e-husband/e-wife and it would upset you, then maybe you should stop

I honestly don't think she cares. We made a pact not to police each other. I think a big reason why so many relationships fail is because people feel trapped, they don't feel like they can breathe.
I respect that she's an attractive girl and men will occasionally flirt with her or she might have an office husband or some shit like that. All I ask is she respect my health as I will respect hers because in the end fuck my emotions. My only fear when it comes to cheating is STDs and possibly taking care of a kid that's not mine unknowingly.
Like I said I doubt she'd care about my e-flirting especially with women who live thousands of miles away boobs lol

 

[Mikey]

Uh oh. Here we go.

Say you love someone, you've got a solid relationship, yadayada but are given the opportunity to CHEAT on that person with the guarantee that they will NEVER find out... would you?

Some folks in the smoking area at the bar were talking about this the other day and I was really surprised at their notion that most people are actually so faithful as not to step out. My automatic assumption is that MOST people would take the opportunity even if they loved their partner. What they won't know won't hurt them..right?

Can you love someone and still cheat?

Nope, not lying either.

 

[Brittney]

No, if I was in a relationship and wanted someone else then I would end that relationship and be with that someone else. IMO, there's never any reason to cheat on someone. Ever. Getting away with it or whatever wouldn't make any difference to me. I'm too conscientious.

 

[Sin Mari]

As I sit here right now...No, absolutely not.
Do I honestly know what my answer would be in a months time, a years time, 10yrs time? No, I couldn't tell you. But right now in my life there is no way I'd cheat.

 

[Stheno]

hmm if you love someone then why cheat best not too

but of what i read here from some post am already do by been here lol
oh well