Cheaters

I wouldn't cheat.

Why bother being in a relationship then?

If things are going badly, THEN I'd break up and explore my options, but if I'm content, no.
 
Bookworm616 said:
I'm not using your post to pick on you, TDK, but rather just as an example of the mentality that goes along with cheating.

I didn't cheat on my husband. I thought about it, sure, but I ultimately realized that if I was thinking about it, then there was something wrong with my marriage. So I went back to my husband and told him I was unhappy, etc.

You said: who knows how I'll feel in 4 years time....Yes, a serious relationship can make you feel trapped sometimes, absolutely. But that just means there's something going on in your relationship that is making you feel that way.

And the proper thing to do is communicate with your partner about your feelings.

And I'll say this: if a person cheats on his/her significant other instead of communicating with his/her partner then not only does that person not respect their partner, but that person doesn't respect the committment of the relationship.

To cheat or not to cheat comes down to lack of communication and lack of respect.
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Sometimes easier said than done my friend. Like I said I honestly and whole heartedly never expected to be happy with someone. You guys have read my posts, but like I said here I am.
I don't want to cheat and don't see myself cheating but I'm sure countless others felt the same way at some point.
 
Nyx said:
Bookie i understand what you trying to say and what many other here say but
there are many different situation in life, am not say if someone cheat is not wrong.... it is..

you say communications what if there is not any even if you try

you said you don't respect your partner if you do cheat ..what if you get no respect you why will you give respect without getting any back

i know what you will say and many other members leave the partner
but what if you in a situation you can not
what then

i know i put this question example of what happening in my life but to tell the truth if i cheat(i mean have sex, as for lots of people i already do think i am just from been... and from some of the pics too ... but i never went more then that )
i will not feel guilty at all or sad
it was never
marriage with been in love together or anything to start with.
and been treated bad for years and not a single respect then nothing there to feel guilty if i do
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Nyx, I am the last to blame anybody..I think you are right with "situations of lifes are different" there are always two sides of the coin..

I think the people are correct, when they say that cheating isn't the solution, but I also know that sometimes you cannot solve the problem immediatly, but the pain you feel, whether it is now disappointment or the non fullfilment of wishes or lack of keeping promises..or whatever guides you sometimes to a situation, we never have thought about , before.

As a person that was always cheated on, a person who doesn't see anything else around me, I don't even blame my partners for it anymore. The reason, why I prefer open relationships. Honestly said, I don't care about it anymore, I want a soulmate, if he is faithful or not- I don't care
 
christine dubois said:
Nyx, I am the last to blame anybody..I think you are right with "situations of lifes are different" there are always two sides of the coin..

I think the people are correct, when they say that cheating isn't the solution, but I also know that sometimes you cannot solve the problem immediatly, but the pain you feel, whether it is now disappointment or the non fullfilment of wishes or lack of keeping promises..or whatever guides you sometimes to a situation, we never have thought about , before.

As a person that was always cheated on, a person who doesn't see anything else around me, I don't even blame my partners for it anymore. The reason, why I prefer open relationships. Honestly said, I don't care about it anymore, I want a soulmate, if he is faithful or not- I don't care
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that is a fantastic post christine
 
Inner Beauty said:
I wouldn't cheat.

Why bother being in a relationship then?

If things are going badly, THEN I'd break up and explore my options, but if I'm content, no.
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I agree with this...
{Puts on Jerry Springer Final Thought facade}

People cheat because there is something lacking in the relationship. People cheat also because they lack respect for their partner.
If you allow it to continue, you are only hurting yourself in the long run.
Long and happy relationships take lots of work and communication. If you decide you don't want to do those things, you should just leave your partner before anyone gets hurt.

Take care of yourself and each other....
(Sonny I get the distinct impression that you might watch just a wee bit much TV.)

 
Somebody enlighten me on this fictitious scenario where you MUST cheat because you have no other choice. Are they physically holding you hostage and forcing you to stay in the relationship? Please do, break it down.
 
Nyx said:
Bookie i understand what you trying to say and what many other here say but
there are many different situation in life, am not say if someone cheat is not wrong.... it is..

you say communications what if there is not any even if you try

you said you don't respect your partner if you do cheat ..what if you get no respect you why will you give respect without getting any back

i know what you will say and many other members leave the partner
but what if you in a situation you can not
what then

i know i put this question example of what happening in my life but to tell the truth if i cheat(i mean have sex, as for lots of people i already do think i am just from been... and from some of the pics too ... but i never went more then that )
i will not feel guilty at all or sad
it was never
marriage with been in love together or anything to start with.
and been treated bad for years and not a single respect then nothing there to feel guilty if i do
Click to expand...

Nyx, I don't pretend to know the situation you are in, but with anything, there are always exceptions. But you shouldn't respect your husband if he doesn't show you respect.

The Dark Knight said:
Sometimes easier said than done my friend. Like I said I honestly and whole heartedly never expected to be happy with someone. You guys have read my posts, but like I said here I am.
I don't want to cheat and don't see myself cheating but I'm sure countless others felt the same way at some point.
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That's an excuse. It's the "I'm going to set up my excuse for cheating now, so when I do it, I can "honestly" tell myself there was no other way."

There's always another way.

"Honey, my dick just went into her pussy and I didn't realize it was happening until it already happened". Nu uh. It doesn't work that way. Cheating never "just happens". It may not be premeditated (I'm going to go to a bar to look for someone to cheat on my partner with), but if you go to a bar and start flirting with someone, you actively make a decision at that point to either end it at flirting or take it further. There's ALWAYS a point of no return in situations like that.

The question remains if you're strong enough to turn away at that fork in the road. If you don't, then you don't respect the commitment you have with your partner and you don't respect your partner. **

** "You" is used as a general person, not a specific person

As with anything, there are special circumstances, but for the most part, it comes down to respecting your partner and communicating your feelings with your partner before you ever go down the wrong road.
 
Sonny Dragon said:
I agree with this...
{Puts on Jerry Springer Final Thought facade}

People cheat because there is something lacking in the relationship. People cheat also because they lack respect for their partner.
If you allow it to continue, you are only hurting yourself in the long run.
Long and happy relationships take lots of work and communication. If you decide you don't want to do those things, you should just leave your partner before anyone gets hurt.

Take care of yourself and each other....
(Sonny I get the distinct impression that you might watch just a wee bit much TV.)

Click to expand...

I agree back with you....
 
Max Mosley said:
Somebody enlighten me on this fictitious scenario where you MUST cheat because you have no other choice. Are they physically holding you hostage and forcing you to stay in the relationship? Please do, break it down.
Click to expand...

It wasn't so much as a "must" I just happened to fall, ok.. I was walking along.. and I slipped on something - not sure how......and - funny enough - don't know how it happened but this dude was laying on the floor - right where I fell, and - wouldn't you know - weirdly enough - he had no pants on and an erection! We didn't mean to but it was all out of our hands - I promise I didn't mean to!!!!"
 
FG said:
It wasn't so much as a "must" I just happened to fall, ok.. I was walking along.. and I slipped on something - not sure how......and - funny enough - don't know how it happened but this dude was laying on the floor - right where I fell, and - wouldn't you know - weirdly enough - he had no pants on and an erection! We didn't mean to but it was all out of our hands - I promise I didn't mean to!!!!"
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ohhhhhhh i love it when we just happen to fall on a penis
 
Inner Beauty said:
I wouldn't cheat.

Why bother being in a relationship then?

If things are going badly, THEN I'd break up and explore my options, but if I'm content, no.
Click to expand...

Sonny Dragon said:
I agree with this...
{Puts on Jerry Springer Final Thought facade}

People cheat because there is something lacking in the relationship. People cheat also because they lack respect for their partner.
If you allow it to continue, you are only hurting yourself in the long run.
Long and happy relationships take lots of work and communication. If you decide you don't want to do those things, you should just leave your partner before anyone gets hurt.

Take care of yourself and each other....
(Sonny I get the distinct impression that you might watch just a wee bit much TV.)

Click to expand...

So agree with you two.
 
I'm honestly a little bit shocked at everyones responses.A lot of people seem to think that cheating implies that you are unhappy with your partner or that you have no respect for the person...

I disagree.

The incident that provoked my writing this thread is that my boyfriend (who I love AND respect) was across the country last week visiting his hometown and I went on a date with another man. Ironically... come to find out via an email from some random woman who wants his nuts... he cheated too. Had she not gone out of her way to sabotage him I would have never found out and I have still yet to come clean about the things that I have done. Maybe I'm just a terrible (honest) person but this doesn't seem to hurt my conscious at all.

My logic as that I'm a good looking 23 years old girl, I will most likely NOT end up with this guy forever, and therefore I do not want to put all of my eggs in one basket. I don't think this means that I don't love, respect, and think very highly of him. I enjoy our relationship vastly. When a person cheats I don't think that it's something that someone does TO YOU... it's something they're doing for themselves. The only thing missing in my relationship at the time was... his presence.

"Girls gotta EAT! damn!"
 
I kinda agree with you.
Alexis89 said:
I'm honestly a little bit shocked at everyones responses.A lot of people seem to think that cheating implies that you are unhappy with your partner or that you have no respect for the person...

I disagree.

The incident that provoked my writing this thread is that my boyfriend (who I love AND respect) was across the country last week visiting his hometown and I went on a dateBUS6nKpddec&feature=youtube_gdata_player with another man. Ironically... come to find out via an email from some random woman who wants his nuts... he cheated too. Had she not gone out of her way to sabotage him I would have never found out and I have still yet to come clean about the things that I have done. Maybe I'm just a terrible (honest) person but this doesn't seem to hurt my conscious at all.

My logic as that I'm a good looking 23 years old girl, I will most likely NOT end up with this guy forever, and therefore I do not want to put all of my eggs in one basket. I don't think this means that I don't love, respect, and think very highly of him. I enjoy our relationship vastly. When a person cheats I don't think that it's something that someone does TO YOU... it's something they're doing for themselves. The only thing missing in my relationship at the time was... his presence.

"Girls gotta EAT! damn!"
Click to expand...
 
The Dark Knight said:
Word? Then why not live loose. Why commit? There are a lot of people open to that idea
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Who said I wasn't with one??

I just saying, and this is solely my opinion: alot of people say they wouldn't cheat knowing if they had the opportunity to they would. Hell, some will say they dont and make a way to cheat. Cheating is a negative characteristic and most people won't own up to having it.
 
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