Cheaters

I have been cheated on in past relationships...like most.

As a kid, my teenage love that I was totally smitten with decided to cheat on me when I went away to bootcamp. I came home, spent time with him, left to go to school and then next time I came home, his friend ratted him out. Took me to her house to bust him. He answered the door in his drawz. I was devastated...since I "loved" him so much. But at that age, a year and a half is a long time...

My last relationship I went to use his ipad to try to get info for my uhaul pick up that day (I was moving into my first place after a long marriage) and I found a bunch of emails between him & some chick. She, begging him for a booty call. He, indicating that's all it could be. Since he was in a relationship and all...when I found out I was upset, but not entirely surprised since I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop he was so good to me...I told him I found the emails, he was at work, then after several unanswered phone calls he came racing over to explain.

I never understood why, if people can't be faithful, why the hell are you pretending to be monogomous and in a relationship. Just call it what it is (or what you want) from the beginning. Let that other person make that decision, of whether or not they want to deal with that.
 
Cherok33 said:
I have been cheated on in past relationships...like most.

As a kid, my teenage love that I was totally smitten with decided to cheat on me when I went away to bootcamp. I came home, spent time with him, left to go to school and then next time I came home, his friend ratted him out. Took me to her house to bust him. He answered the door in his drawz. I was devastated...since I "loved" him so much. But at that age, a year and a half is a long time...

My last relationship I went to use his ipad to try to get info for my uhaul pick up that day (I was moving into my first place after a long marriage) and I found a bunch of emails between him & some chick. She, begging him for a booty call. He, indicating that's all it could be. Since he was in a relationship and all...when I found out I was upset, but not entirely surprised since I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop he was so good to me...I told him I found the emails, he was at work, then after several unanswered phone calls he came racing over to explain.

I never understood why, if people can't be faithful, why the hell are you pretending to be monogomous and in a relationship. Just call it what it is (or what you want) from the beginning. Let that other person make that decision, of whether or not they want to deal with that.
Click to expand...
I doubt most plan to cheat. Its totally selfish but not surprising. I myself am completely happy and content but I cant be sure I always will be. I truly hope if the time comes and I crave variety her and I can talk about it and vice versa.
Too many people do it for us to keep ignoring it as a simple moral failing
 
The Dark King said:
I doubt most plan to cheat. Its totally selfish but not surprising. I myself am completely happy and content but I cant be sure I always will be. I truly hope if the time comes and I crave variety her and I can talk about it and vice versa.
Too many people do it for us to keep ignoring it as a simple moral failing
Click to expand...

I'm sure, most have their best intentions when deciding to enter a relationship. They do not purposely intend on cheating. Relationships are hard enough without the drama cheating brings with it. I guess it's just a moral obligation, that you have to abide by...if you are in a meaningful relationship with another person, you resist that temptation. I know it's very hard sometimes, but I wish people would remember the consequences and think about them before acting on a selfish desire.

As for you, I truly hope everything works out for you. I see you have mentioned how happy you and your honey are.

Communication is definitely key.
 
Cherok33 said:
I'm sure, most have their best intentions when deciding to enter a relationship. They do not purposely intend on cheating. Relationships are hard enough without the drama cheating brings with it. I guess it's just a moral obligation, that you have to abide by...if you are in a meaningful relationship with another person, you resist that temptation. I know it's very hard sometimes, but I wish people would remember the consequences and think about them before acting on a selfish desire.

As for you, I truly hope everything works out for you. I see you have mentioned how happy you and your honey are.

Communication is definitely key.
Click to expand...

Thank you for the well wishes I appreciate it.
On the matter of cheating though I don't think its simple as morality. People who shop lift with no reason other than to get some shit they want make a smaller population than those who constantly cheat. I don't know what the answer is but it goes far beyond scolding people not to cheat because it hasn't really changed anything. Either we get real about the problem or just sit around waiting for the other shoe to drop
 
nicole89marsh said:
I've never really caught anyone cheating on me. Seen texts an ex send another chick calling her baby and whatever, saying he loved her. Only reason I seen it, is because he was driving, and asked me to reply to a text from his grandmother. While I was sending that text, a message from her popped up.
The chickie was a huge flirt, that went after basically any black guy, so I hated the fact him and her were friends. I also tell my friends I love them and I call my friend's bf baby/honey all the time (inside joke as him being my "second" boyfriend). This left me unable to really say anything, because he could've said I do the same thing.


I've also known cheaters, back when I was in high school. I knew a couple that was engaged, and the guy would keep hitting on me, asking me to spend the night and whatever. I got tired of that, and since I considered the gf to be a friend of mine, I told her what was being said. She basically accused me of being a whore, trying to steal her fiance... when I was only trying to give her a heads up.
Since then, it's kinda been my "policy"... if I know someones attempting to cheat on a friend with me, to just keep my mouth shut and not let anything happen. If the friend asks ME what happened, I'd explain, but not going to volunteer that information anymore and end up being labeled the bad person.
Click to expand...

Been there too and it had a similar effect. You are not going to be thanked for coming with that sort of news, on the contrary - will only bite you in the butt. I have since decided to not bring such news but stay entirely away.
 
Chigirl said:
Have you ever caught someone cheating? How did you find out?

My ex in Germany cheated on me, to be honest he probably did a few times but I was a bit naive back then... anyhoo I caught him because the "other woman" left her earrings on his nightstand and numbnutz didn't put them away before I came over... yeah that wasn't a fun evening or conversation to have. I just asked him where they came from since they were obviously not mine, he was never a good liar when confronted aggressively, tried to talk himself out of it but he knew I wasn't buying it. We broke up shortly thereafter. Other than that I don't think I was cheated on but who knows.....
Click to expand...

I have been cheated on (While being overseas in a sandbox). Never caught someone in the physical act of cheating though. I have found that many (Many, not all or most) women are prone to "Emotional Cheating". As far as emotional cheating goes, I have been cheated on three times and physically cheated on once. It never feels good. It freaking aches in your insides, literally. I also noticed (from my limited experience) that emotional cheating can be just as bad if not worse depending on the situation. And quite frankly, you develop this idea, "since it wasn't physical, we can still work this out". But, you really can't work it out. Trust is gone in both situations and assuming that you aren't married and don't have children together (High Investment in the Relationship), you just want to move on and find a better person to be with. I am sorry that your ex cheated on you. I know it's never easy.
 
Cherok33 said:
I have been cheated on in past relationships...like most.

As a kid, my teenage love that I was totally smitten with decided to cheat on me when I went away to bootcamp. I came home, spent time with him, left to go to school and then next time I came home, his friend ratted him out. Took me to her house to bust him. He answered the door in his drawz. I was devastated...since I "loved" him so much. But at that age, a year and a half is a long time...

My last relationship I went to use his ipad to try to get info for my uhaul pick up that day (I was moving into my first place after a long marriage) and I found a bunch of emails between him & some chick. She, begging him for a booty call. He, indicating that's all it could be. Since he was in a relationship and all...when I found out I was upset, but not entirely surprised since I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop he was so good to me...I told him I found the emails, he was at work, then after several unanswered phone calls he came racing over to explain.

I never understood why, if people can't be faithful, why the hell are you pretending to be monogomous and in a relationship. Just call it what it is (or what you want) from the beginning. Let that other person make that decision, of whether or not they want to deal with that.
Click to expand...

alot of guys cant man-up from jump to say im not looking for a relationship. also some guys are dirty macks
 
luvattractivewomen said:
I have been cheated on (While being overseas in a sandbox). Never caught someone in the physical act of cheating though. I have found that many (Many, not all or most) women are prone to "Emotional Cheating". As far as emotional cheating goes, I have been cheated on three times and physically cheated on once. It never feels good. It freaking aches in your insides, literally. I also noticed (from my limited experience) that emotional cheating can be just as bad if not worse depending on the situation. And quite frankly, you develop this idea, "since it wasn't physical, we can still work this out". But, you really can't work it out. Trust is gone in both situations and assuming that you aren't married and don't have children together (High Investment in the Relationship), you just want to move on and find a better person to be with. I am sorry that your ex cheated on you. I know it's never easy.
Click to expand...
:freehug:Wonderful post
 
FG said:
Dey had to sit down, dey taaard:-)
Click to expand...

you can take the geek out of houston but you cant take houston out the geek..

pinup_cowgirl-1.jpg
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom